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CONVERSION: 



ITS NATURE AND IMPORTANCE. 



ILLUSTKATED BY EXAMPLES FROM REAL LIFE. 



By ENOCH POND, D.D., 

PROFESSOR IN THE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY, BANGOR. 






J -^ APPROVED BY THE COMMITTEE OF PUBLICATION. 



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BOSTON : 
CONGREGATIONAL PUBLISHING SOCIETY, 

No. 13 CORNHILU 



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nJ 



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The Link kv 
OF Congress 



WASHINGTON 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1871, by 

The Congregational Publishing Society, 
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



Stereotyped by C. J. Peters & Scm, 
1^0,0 Washington Street. 



COI^rTEl^S. 



SECTION I. PAGE, 

The Nature of Conversion. Several Forms op Con- 
version DESCRIBED 5 

SECTION n. 
ConvI:rsion of the Apostle PatjIi 23 

SECTION in. 
Conversion of Augustine, Bishop of Hippo • , . 36 

SECTION IV. 
Conversion of Luther . ..••... 48 

SECTION V. 
Conversion of John Bunyan 59 

SECTION VI. 
Conversion of Lady Huntington and "William Cowper 69 

SECTION vn. 

Conversion of Col. Jas. Gardiner, and Andrew Fuller 80 

8 



4 CONTENTS. 

SECTION" Vm. PAGE. 

Conversion of Pres. Edwards and David Brainerd . 88 

SECTION IX. 

Conversion of Dr. Hopkins of I^ewport and Dr. Em- 
mons 98 

SECTIOTq" X. 

Conversion of Samuel J. Mills, Dr. Cornelius, and 
Rev. Sylvester Larned 105 

SECTIOl^r XI. 

Miscellaneous Instances, illustrating the Different 
Forms of Conversion 117 

SECTIOI^ xn. 
Remarks on the Preceding Narratives . . . .133 

SECTION xm. 

HiNDERANCES TO CONVERSION 143 

SECTION XIV. 
Importance of Conversion 159 

conclusion 176 



CONVERSION. 



SECTION I. 

The Nature of Conversion. — Several Forms of Con- 
version DESCRIBED. 

IT is important to explain the nature of 
conversion, because this subject is very 
generally misunderstood, especially by the 
unconverted. Such persons have no experi- 
mental knowledge of conversion, and, in 
general, no proper conceptions of it. They 
imagine it to be something which it is not, 
and are often looking and striving after a 
change, which, if accomplished, might not be 
to them of any benefit. 

Conversion is not a change in the nature^ 
the substance^ or any of the faculties^ of the 
soul. We need no such change as this : we 

6 



6 CONVERSION. 

have no reason to expect any such change ; 
and such a change, if accomphshed, would 
not be conversion, and might not do us any- 
good. 

Nor is conversion a change of any kind, in 
which the subject of it is entirely passive^ 
and for which he can do nothing but wait. 
Most unconverted persons seem to regard the 
change in question in this light : they regard 
it as something in reference to which they 
have no responsibility, have nothing to do, 
and for which they can do nothing, but sub- 
missively wait until the blessing is bestowed. 
Now, there can hardly be a greater mistake 
than this, or one of more disastrous influ- 
ence. The effect of such an impression can 
only be, to excuse and quiet the soul in sin, 
and put off that great and needed change, 
without which we perish. 

Conversion is represented in the Scriptures 
as a change, in which the subject of it is 
active^ and not passive, — a change, which, 
through the aid and influence of God's 
Spirit, he is actively to accomplish, and 



CONVERSION, 7 

not one for which he is quietly to wait. 
" Turn ye, turn ye ! for why will ye die ? " 
" Repent, and turn yourselves from all your 
transgressions, so iniquity shall not be your 
ruin ! " 

This turning, or conversion, is always pre- 
ceded by more or less of appropriate reflec- 
tion. Persons begin to think upon their 
ways ; and then, — that is, if the work goes 
on, — they turn their feet unto God's testi- 
monies ; they begin to consider their ways, 
and turn again unto the Lord. So it was 
with the prodigal son : he first came to solemn 
thought, — " How many hired servants of my 
father's have bread enough, and I perish with 
hunger ! I will arise, and go to my father." 
Before Ephraim repented, and smote upon his 
thigh, he was heard bemoaning himself thus : 
'' Thou hast chastised me, and I was chas- 
tened, as a bullock unaccustomed to the 
yoke." — Jer. xxxi. 18. 

But mere thinking is not conversion ; nor 
does it always issue in conversion. There 
must be the turning of the heart ; and this 



8 CONVERSION. 

brings us to the very nature of conversion, — 
the first active turning of the souVs affections 
unto Grod. 

Holy affections assume different forms, and 
have different names appUed to them, accord- 
ing as they are put forth in view of different 
objects ; but, of whatever name or form, they 
all possess the same general nature or charac- 
ter. Thus, the same kind of affection, which, 
in view of the divine character, is holy, com- 
placent love^ will, in view of personal trans- 
gression, be repentance ; in view of Christ, as 
a Saviour, will be faith^ or trust ; in view of 
the divine favors, it will be gratitude ; and, in 
view of the divine government, it will be 
submission. The object of the holy affection 
may change, and with it the name and form 
of the affection ; but the nature of it remains 
the same. 

Conversion, as I said, is the first active 
turning of the soul's affections unto God. 
It is the commencement of holy affections in 
the sinner's heart. Up to this time, his heart 
has been entirely sinful. It has been wholly 



CONVERSION. 9 

under the influence of self and the world : 
so that holy affections have been entirely- 
excluded ; they have had no place there. 
But in the moment of conversion, under 
the influence of appropriate thought and of 
the Holy Spirit, the first holy exercise or 
affection is put forth ; and it matters not, so 
far as the result is concerned, whether this 
first holy affection be one of love, penitence, 
submission, or faith. If it be either of them, 
or if it be any other form of holy affection, 
the commencement of its exercise, the first 
putting it forth, constitutes conversion. 

But though it matters not, so far as the 
great issue is concerned, what form of holy 
affection is first put forth, yet there will be a 
difference in the thoughts and feelings of the 
person converted, according as the first holy 
affection shall be this or that. He whose 
first holy affection is love to God will not 
have the same experience as one whose first 
holy affection is repentance or faith ; though 
the conversion, in either case, may be equally 
satisfactory. 



10 COXVEBSIOy. 

To illustrate this, let us now suppose sever- 
al cases of conyersion, all equally genuine, 
but differing, circumstantially, according as 
the first holy affection — which constitutes 
the conversion — shall be one of love, peni- 
tence, submission, or faith. 

First, we will suppose a case of conversion 
where the first holy exercise is one of love^ — 
complacent love, dehght in the holy character 
of God, and gratitude for his mercies. In il- 
lustration of this, we will suppose an individ- 
ual, who, during the greater part of his life, 
has been comparatively thoughtless of God. 
He has thought of almost every thing else, 
but has forgotten God ; and when, at any 
time, he has remembered God, he has been 
troubled, the thought has been painful to 
him. So far from clinoino^ to God with affec- 
tion and interest, he shrinks away from him 
with fear and dislike. He would gladly hide 
himself from God, as our guilty first parents 
did among the trees of the garden. He ban- 
ishes the unwelcome thought as soon as pos- 
sible. The individual here supposed may not 



CONVERSION, 11 

be an immoral man, he may not be a bad mem- 
ber of society; but the habitual state of his 
feelings towards God is such as has been de- 
scribed. 

But, at length, something occurs in the prov- 
idence of God, — some striking event, it may 
be, or the reading of some book, or the 
hearing of an awakening sermon, or the 
presentation of some truth or fact, — which 
excites within him a new train of reflections. 
He thinks of God as he never thought before. 
His views of his character are such as he 
never before experienced. He begins to feel 
a delight in this character. It is a wonderful 
character, a glorious character. It comes 
up with new interest before his mind. He 
wants to contemplate it all the time. He is 
astonished that he has never seen it in the 
same light before. He thinks now of the 
goodness of God to him, and is melted under 
a sense of it. He wants words to express his 
gratitude to that Being who has so long borne 
with him, and who has been so gracious and 
merciful towards him. 



12 CONVERSION. 

The individual here spoken of may not 
know, at the time, what to think of these new 
im]3ressions and feehngs. He may have no 
thought that they are conversion, or -that 
i\iQj indicate conversion. He may have no 
thought of himself as a converted person ; 
but he is one. If he is not deceived as to 
the nature of his feelings, he certainly is a con- 
verted person. The new exercises above de- 
scribed are not those of nature, but of grace ; 
the springing up of which, for the first time, 
in the sinner's heart is the moment of his 
turning, — his conversion, — the interesting 
moment which he will remember forever as 
the commencement of his walk with God. 

The first holy exercise in the heart of the 
sinner is sometimes one oi i^enitenee ^nd godly 
sorroiv ; in which case, this constitutes his 
conversion. The subject of conversion, in 
this form of it, has passed the whole of his 
previous life in sin; not, it may be, in the 
practice of open immoralities, but in selfish- 
ness, in pride, in a love of the world, in 
thoughtlessness and vanity, in forgetfulness of 



CONVERSION. 13 

God, — in some way, in the love and prac- 
tice of sin. And yet his sins have given him 
very little trouble. He has had little thought 
or anxiety in regard to them. They have not 
been, perhaps, of the more disgraceful char- 
acter ; at least, they have not been known to 
be such. He has sinned in good company, 
and in altogether a respectable way ; and he 
has contrived so to palHate and conceal his 
sins, that he has had little sorrow or distress 
on account of them. But, for some reason, 
his thoughts, of late, have been turned into 
a different channel. He has been led to re- 
view his past life, and see how his account 
stands with God. He has been led to do it 
with considerable scrutiny ; and he is pained 
and frightened at the result. He had no idea 
that his sins were so numerous, or of so ag- 
gravated a character. He had no idea that 
they were characterized by such baseness. 
They seem to him to be most unreasonable 
and odious; and he seems to himself to be a. 
vile and odious creature no account of them. 
When he thinks of the manner in which he 



14 CONVERSION. 

has treated God, — his ingratitude towards 
him, his forgetfulness of him, his disHke of his 
character, and transgression of his laws, he 
feels sorry and aggrieved ; he feels humbled 
and ashamed ; he cannot bear a view of him- 
self ; he begins to loathe and abhor himself, 
and repent in dust and ashes. 

Now, this man, instead of growing better 
in his own.opinion during the change of feel- 
ing through which he has passed, has seemed 
to himself to be constantly growing worse. 
He had never such a sense of his own vileness 
as he now has. He has no thought of conver- 
sion, at least as having been accomplished in 
him ; and yet, if his feelings are such as 
have been described, he is already a convert- 
ed person. He is a true penitent. He feels 
as David did when he said, " Behold, I am 
vile ! " He feels as the publican did when he 
smote upon his breast, and cried, '' God be 
merciful to me, a sinner ! " The first holy af- 
fection of which he was conscious was one of 
penitence; and the beginning of these repent- 
ings in his heart was his conversion. 



CONVERSION, 15 

Conversion is often the commencement of 
true submission to God. The subject of con- 
version, in this form of it, has always lived 
under the government of God, and has always 
been — though perhaps not always sensible 
of it — unreconciled to that government. He 
has never been truly willing that God should 
reign over him, and do with him according 
to his pleasure. To be sure, when God's 
plans have been in accordance with his own 
plans, — when God has pleased him and pros- 
pered him, and caused his cup to overflow 
with blessings, — he has been very happy, and 
has felt as though he could be quite reconciled 
to be in the hands of God ; but when God 
has seen fit to pursue a different course with 
him, crossing his track, blasting his hopes, 
disappointing his expectations, and defeating 
his cherished designs, taking from him this 
comfort, that, and the other, and laying them 
low, — when God has seen fit to try him in 
this way, the secrets of his character have 
come out : he could not repress his murmurs. 
He said almost unconsciously, '' This is a hard 



16 COJ^VERSION. 

Master. These are wounds without cause." 
His opposition, under such circumstances, has 
risen, it may be, to such a height, that he has 
become frightened at himself. He had no 
idea that he had such a rebellious and wicked 
heart. He is sure, that, with such a heart, he 
is in no situation to enjoy God, either in this 
world or the next ; and he is led to commune 
with himself, to contemplate his relations 
to God, and the claims of God upon him, as 
he never did before. He considers, first of 
all perhaps, that, in visiting him with afflic- 
tion, God has done no more than he had a 
right to do. He remembers, too, that he de- 
serves all these afflictions, and a great deal 
more ; so that the divine dispensations 
towards him, instead of being unjust, have all 
of them been mingled with mercy. He fur- 
ther reflects, that these dispensations, of which 
he had been disposed to complain, were cer- 
tainly ordered in wisdom and goodness^ and, 
if suitably improved, would work together for 
his good. He begins seriously to inquire 
whether it is not a privilege to live under the 



CONVERSION, 17 

government of God ; to be in the hands of 
One who can make no mistakes, who can 
indulge no ill-will towards any creature, 
who can do no wrong thing, and whose wise 
and good designs no enemy can ever thwart 
or defeat. He dwells upon the subject in 
these various lights, till at length his heart 
begins to yield. He begins to submit to the 
divine government. He more than submits ; 
he rejoices in it. He rejoices that the Lord 
God Omnipotent reigneth. He feels a pleas- 
ure that is new to him in resigning himself 
and all his concerns into the hands of a holy and 
sovereign God, to be disposed of as he shall 
see wisest and best. Now, this man has expe- 
rienced a great and glorious change of feeling 
in regard to the divine government; and 
this change is conversion. It is the same 
which we must all experience, in one form or 
another, before we can see the kingdom of 
God. 

I present but another case, and that is, 
where conversion is the commencement of 
faith in Christ. In illustration of this, wa 

2 



18 CONVERSION. 

will suppose an individual who is already 
deeply convinced of sin. He sees himself to 
be a guilty and lost sinner, who has no means 
of hope or help in himself, and can discover 
no method of deliverance from any other 
quarter. He knows that a just sentence of 
condemnation has been passed upon him, and, 
for aught that appears, he must sink forever 
under it. He has been in this state of convic- 
tion, distress, and almost of despair, it may 
be, for a long time, looking for light, but be- " 
hold darkness ; seeking rest, but finding none. 
At length, some promise is opened, and applied 
to him ; or some new light is let into the soul, 
by the help of which he gets a view of the Sa- 
viour. He sees him to be almighty and alto- 
gether lovely, — just such a Saviour as his 
perishing case requires. He sees him extend 
his gracious arms, and hears him cry in ac- 
cents of love, " Come unto me, all ye that labor 
and are heavy-laden ; and I will give you rest." 
And now he yields to the winning invitation. 
He falls at once into Jesus' arms. With joy 
and gratitude, he embraces the provided 



CONVEBSION. 19 

Saviour, and commits his sinking soul to 
him. 

I have been the more particular in describ- 
ing and illustrating conversion under its sev- 
eral forms, in hope that the nature of it may- 
be understood. It will be seen that it is no 
physical change, no passive transformation, 
but a change in the character of our internal 
exercises or affections, — from those which 
are in some form sinful to those which are in 
some form holy. And it matters little, as I 
said, what particular form the change assumes, 
or how it is first developed, provided it be the 
change which has been described. The first 
holy exercise of which the individual is con- 
scious may be one of love, or penitencQ, or 
submission, or faith: this is a circumstance 
of little importance, provided the new exer- 
cise be a holy one, and be followed out (as it 
will be) by newness of life and new obedience. 
! This new exercise, which is put forth in 
conversion, and in the putting-forth of which 
conversion consists, from the nature of the 
case, is actively put forth. It can be put forth 



20 CONVERSION. 

in no other way. It is awakened under the 
influence of truth, and by the special opera- 
tions of the Holy Spirit, but in perfect accord- 
ance with the free actings of our own minds. 
Thus, while the glory of the change in ques- 

i. 

tion is to be devoutly ascribed to the Spirit ^ 
of God, the change itseK is accomplished in 
us^ and in the free and regular exercise of our 
own faculties and powers. It is we that love ; 
^ve that repent ; we that believe, submit, and 
obey ; we that turn from our evil ways, and 
commence walking in those ways of wisdom 
which are pleasantness, and those paths which 
are peace. 

Though it is of little importance, so far as 
the fact of conversion is concerned, what holy 
exercise is first put forth, still some impor- 
tance is to be attached to a right understand- 
ing of this matter. Every one who has been 
much acquainted with new converts knows 
that their feelings vary very considerably at 
the time of conversion, or shortly after it. To 
some, the change is sudden and palpable ; to 
others, the development of it is more gradual. 



CONVERSION. 21 

With some there are feehngs of transport, 
amounting to ecstasy ; with others there is 
less excitement, less intensity of joy, and more 
that is calm, subdued, and peaceful. Now, 
one cause of these different developments 
lies, undoubtedly, in the different forms of 
conversion, as they have been described. 
Where the first holy affection is one of re- 
pentance, the change will not be followed by 
immediate light and joy; so far from this, 
there will be a deep sense of sin, and godly 
sorrow on account of it. The individual will 
sorrow as he never did before. It may be 
hours and days before he begins to indulge 
any hope, or to think of himself as a convert- 
ed person. Where the first holy affection is 
one of love or submission, the change will be 
followed with peace, but not with transport. 
There will be a calm reposing upon God, and 
a quiet resignation to his will, but not an ec- 
stasy of rejoicing. But where the first holy 
affection is one of faith or trust in Christ, the 
change, ordinarily, is sudden and palpable. 
It is as a change from the darkness of mid- 



22 CONYEBSION. 

night to the light of noon ; from the depths 
of despair to the rejoicings of hope and heaven. 
Still the change, in the latter case, is no more 
real than in either of the former, nor does it 
promise to be more abiding. 



SECTION 11. 

Conversion of the Apostle Paul. 

"YTT'E have thus far illustrated the change 
^ ^ in conversion by imaginary cases. 
In what follows, we propose to illustrate it by 
cases taken from real life. The examples will 
be drawn from different sources ; but they may 
all be relied on as having actually occurred. 
We begin with the conversion of the Apostle 
Paul. 

Of Paul's antecedents previous to his con- 
version, we need not speak at length. He 
tells us that he was " a Hebrew of the He- 
brews," and was brought up, from his infancy, 
in the strictest sect of the Jews' rehgion. He 
was " a Pharisee, and the son of a Pharisee." 
All surrounding influences combined to make 
him " exceedingly zealous of the law," and 
" of the traditions of his fathers." 

23 



24 CONVERSION. 

When Saul had completed his education at 
Tarsus, he was sent by his parents to Jerusa- 
lem, that he might be more fully instructed 
in the law. He attached himself to the school 
of Gamaliel, at that time the most celebrated 
teacher in the holy city. 

It is hardly likely that Saul was at Jerusa- 
lem during our Lord's pubhc ministry, as he 
never speaks of haying seen him in the flesh. 
He may have been there at the crucifixion, and 
also at the succeeding Pentecost. He was 
certainly there soon after the Pentecost, when 
the dispute with Stephen commenced in the 
synagogues of the foreign Jews. He proba- 
bly took part in these disputes, and assisted in 
bringing Stephen before the Sanhedrim for 
trial. And, when Stephen was executed, Saul 
was present, not as a spectator, but as an 
accomplice in this nefarious transaction. The 
witnesses who stoned Stephen laid clown their 
clothes at the feet of Saul. 

In the persecution which immediately fol- 
lowed, Saul was intensely active. He " made 
havoc of the Church," binding and delivering 



CONVERSION. 25 

into prison both men and women. He " pun- 
ished them oft in every synagogue, and com- 
pelled them to blaspheme ; and, being exceed- 
ingly mad against them, he persecuted them 
even unto strange cities." 

When Saul had sufficiently vented his rage 
at Jerusalem, he went to the high priest, and 
desired letters to the synagogue at Damas- 
cus,* intending, if he found any Christians 
there, to bring them bound into Jerusalem. 
But, when he and his company drew near to 
the city, their progress was suddenly and mi- 
raculously interrupted. First of all, there 
shone around them a great light from heaven, 
above the brightness of the mid-day sun. 
Overcome by it, the whole company fell pros- 
trate on the ground together. Next followed a 
sound like that of thunder, which was heard 
by all, but which fell, in intelligible accents, 

* The high priest at this time claimed the same authority over 
the Jews in foreign cities, on all questions pertaining to religion, 
which he exercised at Jerusalem. Pilate also seems to have 
granted a general license to persecute and destroy the Christians. 
He had crucified their Master ; and he permitted the Jews to treat 
them as they pleased. 



26 CONVERSION. 

only on the ears of Saul. * He heard what 
they did not hear, and saw what they did not 
see. To them the awful sound was without 
meaning ; but he heard the voice of the Son 
of God. To them it was a glare of light, 
which suddenly surrounded them; but he 
saw Jesus whom he was persecuting. 

The fact that Saul had here a vision of the 
Son of God, perhaps like that which ap- 
peared to John on the Isle of Patmos,f is 
to me indubitable. He often refers to it in 
his subsequent history. " Am I not an apos- 
tle ? Am I not free ? Have I not seen Jesus 
Christ the LordV " He was seen of Cephas, 
then of the twelve ; . . . and, last of all, he 
was seen of me also^ as of one born out of due 
time." Also, when Barnabas brought Paul 
to the apostles at Jerusalem, he related to 

* This accounts for an apparent discrepancy in Paul's state- 
ments of the case. In one place, he says that his companions 
" heard a voice, but saw no man." In another, he says, that they 
^^ heard not the voice of Him that spake with me." Compare 
Acts ix. 7 with Acts xxii. 9. They heard a sound, but no in- 
telligible words. 

t Rev. i. 13-18. 



CONVERSION. 27 

them '' how he had seen the Lord in the wayT 
And so Ananias said to Paul, at their first 
meeting in Damascus : " The Lord hath sent 
me, even Jesus, loho appeared unto thee in the 
way,'''' 

The voice which Saul heard, as he lay 
overwhelmed and prostrate on the earth, was 
this : '' Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me ? " 
" And I said, ' Who art thou, Lord ? ' and the 
Lord said, ' I am Jesus whom thou persecut- 
est !' " And now, if a thunderbolt had struck 
the prostrate persecutor, he would not have 
been more utterly confounded. He saw at 
once what he had been doing. He saw that 
this glorified Jesus was really what he claimed 
to be, the Messiah of the Scriptures, whom 
he was madly persecuting in his followers. 
His guilt instantly flashed upon him. He 
saw his danger and his ruin ; and he seems 
to have submitted at once. 

And, if so, this settles the question as to 
the time of Saul's conversion. It was not 
three days afterward, when the scales fell 
from his eyes ; but it was here, on the spot 



28 CONVERSION, 

.where he first saw the light, and heard the 
voice, and met in person his glorified Redeem- 
er. It did not take him long, under the cir- 
cumstances, to become convicted of sin, — 
deeply, thoroughly convicted. And being as- 
sured of the divine authority, the Messiah- 
ship, of Jesus, and of the entire validity of his^ 
claims, he seems, as I said, to have submit- 
ted himself at once. And so, turning to his 
heavenly visitant, he said to him, in accents 
of faith and love, " Lord, what wilt thou 
have me to do ? " 

This was a very different question from 
that of the jailer to Paul and Silas-* ''Sirs, 
what must I do to be saved? " The latter 
was an inquiry after light and instruction as 
to the way of salvation ; but the question of 
Paul carried on the face of it that he was 
now ready to do any thing : it was as much 
as to say, " Lord, I am henceforth thy will- 
ing servant. Wilt thou own and accept me 
in this capacity ? I am now ready to go any- 
where, or do any thing for thee. Lord, what 
wilt thou have me to do ? " 



CONVERSJON, 29 

Having thus made his submission to Christ, 
and given up himseK to him to be his servant, 
he was told to arise from the earth, and go in- 
to Damascus, and " it shall be told thee what 
thou shalt do." So he arose in his blindness : 
and they that were with him " led him into 
Damascus ; and he was three days without 
sight, neither did eat nor drink." 

His feelings, his reflections, during these 
three days, Paul has nowhere described : 
perhaps he could not describe them. Neither 
Jew nor Christian could sympathize with him. 
He prayed and fasted in darkness and alone. 
The recollection of scenes hut recently past, 
the thought of his own cruelty and violence, 
the last looks of Stephen, and of others who 
had suffered by his hands, and, more than all, 
his base treatment of One whom he now ac- 
knowledged to be his Lord and Master, — all 
these considerations crowded into his mind, 
and made these three days equal to as 
many years of ordinary penitence and holy 
sorrow. 

But, while he thus waited upon God, anoth- 



30 CONVERSION, 

er vision was granted unto him. He seemed 
to see a holy man coming in to him, and lay- 
ing his hands upon him, that he might receive 
his sight. At the same time, this holy man 
— Ananias by name — was directed in a 
vision to go out ''into the street which is 
called Straight, and inquire in the house of 
Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus ; for, be- 
hold, he prayeth ! " Ananias at first excused 
himself, on account of the known character 
of Saul, and his bloody intent in coming to 
the city ; but the Lord said, '' Go out and 
find him ; for he is a chosen vessel unto me, 
to bear my name before the Gentiles and 
kings and the children of Israel." So Ana- 
nias went, entered into the house of Judas, 
and found Saul ; and, putting his hands upon 
him, he said, '' Brother Saul, the Lord, even 
Jesus, who appeared unto thee in the way, 
hath sent me, that thou mightest receive thy 
sight, and be filled with the Holy Ghost. 
And immediately there fell from his eyes as it 
had been scales," — fibrous incrustations, oc- 
casioned by the intense light which he had 



CONVERSION. 31 

seen in the way. '' And he received sight 
forthwith, and arose, and was baptized." 

Paul thus became h member of the Christ- 
ian Cliurch, and entered at once upon the 
great work of his Hfe, — that of preaching 
Christ to his dying fellow-men. He went 
first into the synagogues of Damascus, and 
" confounded the Jews that dwelt there, prov- 
ing that Jesus is the very Christ." And, 
when they would not receive his testimony, 
but sought to kill him, he retired into North- 
ern Arabia, where he spent two or three 
years. — Gal. i. 17. 

How Paul passed his time during this sea- 
son of retirement, we do not know. Doubt- 
less much of it was spent in meditation and 
devotion, in communion with Christ, and re- 
ceiving revelations from him. It was during 
this period that he " was caught up into the 
third heavens," — into '' the paradise of God," 
and heard those unspeakable words, " which 
it is not lawful for a man to utter." It was 
during this period that he was supernatural- 
ly instructed in regard to the truths and facts 



32 CONVERSION, 

of the gospel, which he expressly tells us he 
did not receive from man, but by the revela- 
tion of Jesus Christ. 

As we here speak only of the conversion of 
Paul, it is not necessary to follow him in his 
future course of toil and peril in the service 
of his divine Master: suffice it to say, that 
he never faltered in his course, but persisted 
in it, through every form of opposition and 
persecution, until he obtained his crown ; thus 
proving that his conversion was a reahty, and 
that his religion could endure the severest 
tests. At the close of a long life, and in the 
near prospect of a violent death, he was en- 
abled to saj^ '' I am now ready to be offered ; 
and the time of my departure is at hand. I 
have fought a good fight ; I have finished my 
course ; I have kept the faith. Henceforth, 
there is laid up for me a crown of righteous- 
ness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, 
shall give me at that day." 

In thinking of the conversion of Paul, it is 
important that we separate it, so far as possi- 
ble, from the circumstances connected with 



CONVERSION. 33 

it. These were marvellous, some of them 
miraculous, — as the light, the voice, the 
vision of Christ; but the conversion itself 
was not miraculous, nor did it differ essen- 
tially from any other case of true conversion. 
Peculiar circumstances were needed to arrest 
Paul in his career of blood, to show him liis 
errors, to subdue his prejudices, to convict 
him of his guilt and ruin, to lead him to sub- 
mit to his Lord and Saviour, and, from being 
an enraged perseautor, to become his willing 
and devoted servant, — peculiar circumstan- 
ces, I say, were needed for these purposes: 
and they were furnished; and, under God, 
they were effectual. But the conversion of 
Paul did not consist in any of these attendant 
circumstances, but in the submission of his 
soul to Christy — a submission brought about 
under the influence of motives, and the ac- 
companying influences of the Holy Spirit; 
a submission in which he was free and active, 
and which he may be said, under God, to 
have accomplished himself. It was he that 
submitted. It was he that, from being a bit- 



34 COXVEBSIOy. 

ter enemy of Christ, became his devoted ser- 
vant and friend. But for this voluntary, sub- 
mission to Christ, the light, the voices, the 
visions, the miracles, would have done him no 
good. He would have risen fi*om them all as 
bitter an enemy as he was before. The con- 
version of Paul, then, consisted in the volufin 
tary submission of hi^ trkole being to Christy 
and did not differ essentially, as I said, from 
any other case of genuine conversion. 

God uses various methods now to bring 
impenitent souls to the feet of the Saviour. 
The most common means, perhaps, is the 
preaching of the gospel ; but then God is not 
confined to this, — : at least in the ordinary 
method of its administration. He often uses 
other means, as woridly disappointments, the 
example and conversation of Christians, a fit 
of sickness, or the death of friends. I once 
knew a man who was awakened by the sing- 
ing of a robin, and was afterwards converted, 
and brought to Christ. The man to whom I 
refer was a physician and an infidel. Return- 
ing home one morning, from his visits to the 



CONVERSION. 35 

sick, he rode under a great spreading tree, in 
the top of which sat a little robin, pouring 
forth its morning song. The thought struck 
]iim that this little bird was singing a song of 
praise to its great Creator and Preserver, — 
a thing which he had never done. Tliis 
thought was an arrow in his conscience which 
could not be extracted. It distressed him, 
until, as I said, he was thoroughly convinced 
of sin, and brought to submit to Christ. But, 
then, his conversion did not consist in the 
singing of the bird, or in any of his subse- 
quent anxieties and distresses, but, as in the 
case of Paul, in his submission to the Saviour. 
And so it is, substantially, in every other 
case. Conversions do not all assume the 
same form, nor are they brought about by the 
same means ; but they are all alike in this : 
they consist in the turning of the heart, in 
some form, from sin to holiness, — in a turn- 
ing from the love of self and the world and 
the service of Satan to love and serve the 
living God. 



SECTION III. 

Cox\"ERsiON OF Augustine, Bishop of Hippo. 

FROM the latter part of the third century 
after Christ to the former part of the 
fifth, there was a gradual but manifest decay 
of vital godliness. And although, during 
this period, God had tried his Church both by 
judgments and mercies, — first in the terri- 
ble fires of the Diocletian persecution, and 
secondly by the happy revolution under Con- 
stantine, — still, the growing evil had not 
been effectually cured, or scarcely arrested. 
The declension continued and increased ; dead 
forms and unprofitable disputes were substi- 
tuted for piety and godliness ; and it became 
painfully evident, that true, spiritual religion 
must ere long disappear, unless God should 
interpose by his Spirit, and revive his work. 

But, at this critical juncture, God did gra- 
ss 



CONVERSION, 37 

ciously interpose. His work was revived ; and 
spiritual religion again flourished, — at least, 
in one part of the Roman Empire. The prin- 
cipal instrument in this precious awakening, 
the results of which continue even to our own 
times, was the celebrated Augustine of Hippo, 
of whose conversion I am now to speak. 

This great man was born at Tagaste, a 
city of Numidia, in Northern Africa, A.D. 354. 
His father, Patricius, though nominally a ca- 
techumen, was no better than a heathen, until 
near the close of life. His mother, Monica, 
was an eminently devoted Christian, who ex- 
erted a strong and saving influence over both 
her husband and her son. Patricius died in 
hope, at the age of forty, and left Augustine 
to the care of his mother ; and most watch- 
fully and faithfully did she care for him. 
Wherever he went, whether as a scholar or 
teacher, she was sure to be near him : he was 
the object of much entreaty, and of many 
prayers ; iind, after a sore trial of some sixteen 
years from the death of his father, the bless- 
ing came. When she saw her son a decided 



38 CONVERSION. 

Christian, she felt that the main object of her 
hfe was gained. She was now ready to de- 
part ; and, in a few weeks, she was summoned 
home. In all Christian antiquity, we have 
not a more eminent instance than is here 
presented of conjugal and maternal faithful- 
ness. The great Augustine is to be classed 
with the large number of eminent Christians 
who have owed, not their usefulness only, 
but their salvation, to the influence of a 
pious mother. 

Augustine's advantages of education were 
good, and his talents of the highest order ; 
but his early life was one of continued de- 
bauchery and wickedness. In philosophy, 
he was a Manichee, and by profession a 
teacher of rhetoric and oratory. In the 
exercise of his profession, — after spending 
several years at Carthage, — he came to 
Rome. Here he was attacked with fever, 
and brought near to death ; but he recovered 
from it, through the influence chiefly, as he 
afterwards thought, of his mother's prayers. 
From Rome, he went to Milan, which was at 



CONVERSION. 39 

that time the residence of the emperor. He 
here became acquainted with Ambrose, 
Bishop of Milan, — one of the most eloquent 
preachers of the age. '' I conceived an 
affection for him," says Augustine, " not as a 
teacher of the truth, but as a kind and 
agreeable friend. I studiously attended his 
lectures, but only to criticise his rhetoric, 
and see whether fame had done justice to 
him as an orator. I concerned not myself 
about his sentiments, but only with his 
manner and language. 

" Still, the ideas which I strove to neglect 
forced themselves upon my mincl ; and I was 
gradually brought to listen to the bishop's 
doctrine. I found reason to rebuke myself 
for the hasty conclusions I had formed as to 
the indefensible claims of the Old Testa- 
ment. Many of the difficulties which the 
Manichees had started in respect to it found 
an easy solution in the expositions of Am- 
brose. The possibility of finding truth in 
the Church of Christ, of which I had years 
before despaired, was forced upon me ; and I 



40 CONVERSION, 

began to consider by what arguments I 
might convict Manicheism of falsehood." 

It should have been enough to convict a 
thoughtful man like Augustine of the 
falsehood of Manicheism, that it exerted no 
favorable influence upon the character. He 
was himself living in some of the grossest 
sins, and yet fancied himself, as to his higher 
nature^ perfectly pure, charging the entire 
blame of the evils he perpetrated upon a 
fleshly nature which sinned in him. 

The difficulties which rose at this time in 
the mind of Augustine, and stood in the way 
of his conversion, were partly speculative, 
and partly practical. The errors of the 
Manichean philosophy had become so in- 
grained, incorporated, in his whole interior 
being, that he found it difficult to eradicate 
them. When banished, as he hoped forever, 
they would return, to try and torture him 
anew. They rose up within him like 
towers and bastions, to resist the entrance 
of gospel truth. 

But his most desperate struggle was not 



CONVERSION, 41 

with these, but with his debased feelings, and 
his corrupt practices and habits. His convic- 
tions of sin were deep and painful, — I had 
almost said terrible. He has detailed them 
at length in his '' Confessions," — a work well 
worthy the study of the child of God in 
every age. 

At length there remained but a single 
obstacle in the way of his entering the king- 
dom of Christ, and that was his long -in- 
dulged and easily-besetting sin of unchastity. 
The way in which he grappled with this, and 
overcame it, and thus entered the kingdom 
as it were by violence, must be given in his 
own words. 

'' In the agitation of my spirit, I retired 
into the garden, knowing how evil I was, 
but ignorant of the good which God had in 
store for me. With vehement indignation, I 
rebuked my sinful spirit, because it would 
not give up itself to God, I found that I 
wanted a will. Still I was restrained ; and 
the Spirit was urgent upon me with severe 
mercy. My old mistresses shook my vesture 



42 CONVERSION. 

of flesh, and whispered, ' Are we, then, to 
part, — to part forever? And canst thou live 
without us ? ' On the other hand appeared 
the chaste dignity of continence, ' Canst thou 
not,' said she, ' perform what many of both 
sexes have performed, not in themselves 
indeed, but in the strength of the Lord? 
Cast thyself upon him : fear not ; he will not 
suffer thee to fall.' Such was my internal 
controversy. When deep meditation had 
collected all my misery into the view of my 
heart, a violent storm arose, producing a great 
shower of tears. To give it vent, I rose up 
hastily from my friend, Alypius, who was 
sitting by me. The sound of my voice was 
stifled with weeping ; and he remained 
motionless in the same place. I prostrated 
myself under a fig-tree, and, with flowing 
tears, I thus spake : ' How long. Lord, wilt 
thou be angry ? Forever ? Remember not 
my old iniquities. How long shall I persist 
in saying to-morrow ? Why should not this 
hour put an end to my slavery ? ' As I 
thus spake and wept, in the bitterness of my 



CONVERSION. 43 

. soul, I seemed to hear a voice saying unto 
me, '-Take up and read ; take up and read,"* I 
took up the Epistle of Paul, which I had by 
me, and read the following passage, which 
first struck my eye : ' Not in rioting and 
drunkenness, not in clambering and wanton- 
ness, not in strife and envying ; but put ye 
on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not pro- 
vision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts there- 
of.' I had no occasion to read further. 
Immediately the struggle was ended, and 
my fears were gone. I closed the book, 
and, with a tranquil countenance, gave it to 
my friend. With a serenity and composure 
suitable to his character, he went with me to 
my mother ; who now triumphed in the abun- 
dant answers to her prayers. Thus thou 
didst turn her mourning into joy." 

Such was the conversion of Augustine of 
Hippo, — a renouncing of sin; a turning from 
it, as a loathed and accursed thing, and 
coming at once into the peace and hope of 
the gospel. After his conversion, Augustine 
closed his school as soon as practicable, be- 



44 CONVERSION. 

came a catecliumen, and retired into the 
country, enjo5dng, with Alypius, the sedu- 
lous and affectionate care of his mother. 
He was baptized by Ambrose, in the year 
387, in the thirty-third year of his age.. 

Shortly after this, Augustine and his mother 
went to Rome, intending to return into their 
own country. While waiting for a vessel to 
take them to Africa, this best of mothers 
fell sick and died. She had lived to see the 
desire of her heart accomplished in the con- 
version and baptism of her son. She was 
now ready to depart ; and the summons 
came. She was buried at Ostia, the port 
of Rome, where a small chapel still marks 
the place of her sepulture. 

Augustine was thirty-three years of age at 
the time of his conversion. Subsequent to 
this, he lived more than fort}' j^ears, and 
was, under Christ, the great luminary of the 
Church. He wrote upon most of the great 
doctrines of the gospel. He treated the sub- 
ject of rehgion practically^ solving difficult 
questions, cases of conscience, and guiding 



CONVERSION, 45 

inquirers in the way to heaven. He also 
engaged in most of the controversies of the 
times, defending the truth as it is in Jesus 
against those who perverted and opposed it. 
His controversy With Pelagius was no other 
than a struggle for evangelical religion against 
one who was laboring for its overthrow. 

It is sometimes said that Augustine was • 
led to adopt his peculiar opinions on the sub- 
jects of depravity, predestination, and grace , 
in consequence of his controversy with Pela- 
gius ; but the truth is, he was led into the 
controversy with Pelagius in consequence of 
his holding and revering these sentiments. 
He learned them in the Bible, and in his 
own conscious experience. He was taught 
them by the Holy Ghost ; and it may be 
clearly shown that he came to the knowledge 
and profession of them at least ten years 
previous to the Pelagian controversy. 

Augustine lived to see Northern Africa 
overcome, and his beloved Hippo besieged 
by the ruthless vandals. In the prospect of 
approaching trials and sufferings, it was his 



46 CONVERSION. 

daily prayer, either that God would deliver 
the city, or that he would give his servants 
grace to endure all that might be inflicted, or 
that he might himself be taken out of the 
world. In the last particular, and we hope 
in the two last, his prayer was heard. In 
the third month of the siege, which lasted 
fourteen months in all, Augustine was seized 
with a fever, which terminated his life. He 
.died, A.D. 429, in the seventy-sixth year of 
his age, and the fortieth of his ministry. 

Between Augustine and the apostle Paul, 
there were some strong points of resem- 
blance. Both had been virulent enemies 
of the gospel in their younger days. Both 
had been arrested by omnipotent grace, had 
been deeply convinced of sin, and had been 
thorouQ;hlY renewed and chang^ed ; and, af- 
ter conversion, both became the heralds and 
champions of the same system of doctrines, 
— the doctrines of grace. It was Paul's vo- 
cation to combat the errors of his times, and 
lay down a platform of evangelical doctrine 
which can never be destroyed. And in a 



CONVERSION. 47 

time of general declension, when these doc- 
trines had been obscured, and dead formalism 
was rising up to take their place, it was 
Augustine's vocation to combat the errors of 
his times, and bring back the doctrines of 
the great apostle to something like their 
original place and purity. It was his voca- 
tion to inculcate and diffuse these doctrines, 
and so to sound the gospel trump tliat its 
echo has reverberated through all the inter- 
vening ages to the present time. 

We would not be understood as indorsing 
every expression or every sentiment which 
occurs in the voluminous works of Augus- 
tine : far from it ; but we have no hesita- 
tion in saying, that probably no one has 
lived, since the days of Paul, the influence of 
whose writings upon the religious Avorld has 
been so great, so enduring, and, on the 
whole, so happy, as those of the renowned 
Bishop of Hippo. 



SECTION IV. 

Conversion of Luther. 

IN speaking of the conversion of Luther, 
it will not be necessary to go into all the 
particulars of his early life. He was the son 
of a poor miner, and -^as born at Eisleben, 
in Saxony, Nov. 10, 1483. His early educa- 
tion was chiefly accomplished at a school in 
Eisenach, where he remained several years. 
He was at this time very poor, and, like sev- 
eral others, was under the necessity of beg- 
ging his bread. One day, when he had been 
repulsed from several ho ases, and was about 
to return fasting to his lodgings, a lady by 
the name of Cotta opened her door to him, 
and invited, him to come and live at her 
house. In after life, Luther used to speak 
of this woman as " the Christian Shunam- 
mite ; " and it was with reference to her that 

48 



CONVEBSION, 49 

he said, " There is nothing sweeter than the 
heart of a pious woman." 

Luther remained in the family of Cotta 
two or three years ; and they were among 
the happiest years of his life. At the age 
of eighteen, he entered the Uniyersity of 
Erfurth, where he gave some attention to the 
scholastic ]3l^ilosophy, but applied * himself 
chiefly to the study of the Latin classics. 
He was at this period a thoughtful young 
man, and continually invoked the divine bless- 
ing upon his studies. It had become a 
proverb with him, when not more than 
eighteen years old : " Bene precasse est bene 
studuisse^^^ — ''To pray well is the better 
half of study." 

When Luther had been two years at the 
university, as he was one day in the library 
turning over books, and reading the title- 
pages, he accidentally came upon a Latin 
Bible. It was a rare book, tie had never 
seen one before in his life. He was aston- 
ished to find that the Bible contained so 
many more books and chapters than he had 

4 



oO CONVERSION. 

before heard of. With feelmgs unutterable, 
he turned over its pages, and exclaimed, 
'' Oh, that I might have such a book for 
my ovrn I " 

After takino; his academical deorrees, Lu- 
ther yielded to the wishes of his father, and 
entered upon the s^tudy of law ; but God 
had a different purpose respecting him, and 
this purpose he began early to manifest. 
The conscience of Luther was not at ease : 
he knew that reliofion was the one thinsf 
needful, and that his first care should be for 
the salvation of his soul ; and he was led to 
resolve that he would do all in his power to 
secure a well-grounded hope of heaven. 
The 7J>roy/c?6?i^^s of God occurring around 
him went to confirm liim in this resolution. 
He was deeply affected by the sudden death 
of one of his college friends, but more so by 
a terrible storm of thunder, wliich had well 
nigh proved fatal to himself. As the winds 
roared, and the Hghtnings flashed, and the 
bolt of heaven struck close by his side, he 
fell on his knees, thinking that his last hour 



CONVERSION. 51 

had come. And here he made a solemn vow, 
that, if God would appear for his deliverance, 
he would renounce the world, and devote 
himself entirely to his service. God did ap- 
pear for his deliverance ; and Luther, in his 
ignorance, knew no way in which his vow 
could be performed, and that hoUness which 
he sought could be secured, but by entering 
a cloister. He must literally forsake the 
world, and bury himself in the seclusion of 
some one of the monastic orders. 

The next we hear of him, he is in the con- 
vent of the Augustinian friars at Erfurth. 
The friends of Luther were greatly surprised 
at the step he had taken ; and more espe- 
cially was this the case with his honored 
father. He had exerted himself to the ut- 
most to support' his son at the university, 
hoping to see him a learned barrister or 
statesman, and filUng a large space in the 
eyes of the world ; and now, by one fatal 
step, all his ambitious projects were over- 
thrown. He wrote xin angry letter to his 
son, threatening him, if he persisted, with 



62 CONVERSION. 

the entire loss of his favor, and with being 
utterly disinherited from a father's love. 
After a while, however, the feelings of the 
father softened ; and he reluctantly submitted 
to that which he had no power to avert. 

The monks, at the first, were exceedingly 
complaisant to the new-comer,, applauding 
his decision, his renunciation of the world. 
Ere long, however,* they began to treat him 
harshly, and to impose upon him the most 
menial services. Nevertheless, he bore it all 
with patience, and the more so, as he hoped, 
by self-mortification, to acquire that humility 
and holiness, in pursuit of which he had be- 
come an inmate of the cloister. 

Luther found in the convent, as he had 
in the university, a Latin Bible, to which he 
had recourse daily. He began at this time 
to studj^ the sacred books in the original 
tongues, and thus prepare himself ,' without 
knowing it, for the most perfect and useful 
of all his works, — his translation of the 
Bible into German. 

But it was not so much for study that 



t 
CONVERSION, 63 



Luther had renounced the world, and im- 
mured himself in the recesses of the cloister: 
it was that he might crucify the flesh, se- 
cure the remission of sins, and be made holy. 
He was very punctual, therefore, in observing 
all the prescribed penances and rules. He 
spared neither fastings, macerations, nor 
vigils. On one occasion, he passed seven 
whole weeks almost entirely without sleep. 
A little bread and a single herring were often 
his only food ; but, the more he tortured 
himself, the more anxious he became. He 
had formed some conception now of what it 
is to be holy ; and he was distressed at find- 
ing, neither in his heart nor his life, any 
appearance of that hohness which he saw to 
be needfill. Those around him directed him 
to perform good works, and in this way to 
satisfy the divine justice ; but '' what good 
works," said he, " can proceed out of a heart 
like mine ? How can I, with works polluted 
even in their source and motive, stand before 
a holy Judge ? " 

Luther was, at this period, greatly agitated 



54 • COI<r VERSION. 

and distressed. He moved like a spectre 
tlirough the long aisles of liis cloister, uttering 
only sighs and groans. He found to his sor- 
row, that, though by entering the convent 
he had procured a change of raiment, he 
had experienced no change of heart. He 
performed penances, repeated prayers, and 
confessed daily ; but all was of no use : the 
burthen was still upon his spirit, and naught 
that he had power to do could remove it. 
Under the anguish of his mind, his bodily 
powers failed, his strength forsook him, and 
he was rapidly drawing to the gates of death. 
On one occasion he was found on the floor, 
in a state of entire unconsciousness ; and it 
was a long time before he could be restored. 
Thus hardly and terribly did this poor sinner 
suffer, in ignorance of the true method of 
salvation, to work out a righteousness of 
his own. 

But the day of his deliverance was at 
hand. John Staupitz, the vicar-general of 
the Augustinians in Germany, made a visit 
to Erfurth. He had passed through troubles 



CONVERSION. 55 

very similar to those of Luther, and had 
found deliverance in Christ. He was the 
very person, therefore, to deal with Luther ; 
and he instructed him in the most prudent 
and faithful manner. He directed his 
thoughts away from himself, and led them 
up to the cross of Christ. '' Instead of tor- 
turing yourself for your faults, cast yourself 
into the arms of the Redeemer. Trust in 
him, in the spotless righteousness of his 
life, and the expiatory sacrifice of his death. 
Do not shrink away from God. He is not 
against you: it is you rather who are es- 
tranged and averse from him." 

These were strange words to the ears of 
Luther. He listened, and pondered, and 
listened again. He flew to the Scriptures, 
and consulted all the passages relating to 
conversion and justification; and he found 
that it was even so as his frieiid had said. A 
new light now began to enter his mind, and 
new consolations sprang up in his soul. 
" Yes," he exclaimed, " there is hope in 
Christ. It is Christ himself that comforts 



56 CONVERSION, 

me Tvith these sweet and precious words." 
The first rehgious exercises of Luther seem 
to have been those of faith and trust : but 
these were soon followed by the meltings of 
true penitence. •" Formerly, there was 
naught in the Bible more bitter to me than 
the thought of repentance ; but now there is 
nothing more pleasant and sweet. All those 
scriptures which once alarmed me seem now 
to flow together, and smile and play around 
my heart. Oh, how blessed are all God's 
precepts, when we read them not in books 
alone, but in the faith of Christ ! " 

But these consolations of Luther were 
not without seasons of interruption. Sin 
was again felt upon his tender conscience ; 
and then he relapsed into his former troubles, 
" Oh. my sin, my sin ! *' he one day ex- 
claimed in the presence of Staupitz, and in a 
tone of the bitterest agony. '' Well," 
rephed the latter, '• would you be only the 
semblance of a sinner, and have only the 
semllance of a Sa™iu^ ? Know that Jesus 
Christ is the Saviour of those who ai^e real 



CONVERSION. 57 

and great sinners, and deserving of utter 
condemnation." 

Luther had trouble at this time, not only 
with the state of his heart, but with some of 
the higher doctrines of the gospel. He 
wished to penetrate the deep things of God, 
to unveil their mysteries, and comprehend the 
incomprehensible. But his friend Staupitz 
checked him. He told him that he must 
understand the plainer things first. He must • 
not attempt to fathom God, but confine him- 
self to what of his character is revealed in 
Christ. We cannot understand God, except 
through Christ. 

Before leaving the convent, the vicar- 
general gave Luther a Bible, and directed 
him to the diligent and persevering study of 
it. Better advice than this was never given ; 
nor was any advice ever more faithfully 
followed. The mind of Luther was now in 
a state to receive and love the truth. It was 
to him as cold water to a thirsty soul. The 
soil of his heart had been thoroughly 
ploughed ; and in it the incorruptible seed 



58 CONVERSION. 

took deep root. It sprang up, and brought 
forth fruit an hundred-fold. 

From this time, Martin Luther was a new 
man, and entered upon a new spiritual life. 
He was soon removed from the convent to 
his professorship at Wittemburg, and there 
entered upon his contest '' with spiritual 
wickedness in high places; " and this contest 
he pursued, before legates and pontiffs, 
nobles and diets, emperors and kings, until 
half Europe was emancipated from papal 
bondage, until the word of the Lord had 
free course among the nations, ran, and was 
glorified. Yet, from every step of his tri- 
umphant progress, he could- look back upon 
the change accompUshed in him at Erfurth 
as the turning-point in his eventful history, 
the beginning of his great usefulness, the 
commencement of his walk with God. 



SECTION V. 

Conversion of John Bunyan. 

THE " ingenious dreamer " began to 
dream almost as soon as he was born.* 
"Even in.my childhood," says he, "the Lord 
did scare me with dreams, and terrify me 
with fearful visions. Once I dreamed that 
the end of the world was come, and that 
the earth quaked, and opened its mouth to 
receive me. Again, I dreamed that I was 
dropping into the flames among the damned, 
and that a person in white raiment suddenly 
plucked me, as a brand, out of the fire." 

Though these dreams must have made 
some impression on the child, they did not 
restrain him from the paths of sin. He 
grew up in the indulgence, of the grossest 

* Bunyan was bom at Elstow, near Bedford, England, in the 
year 1628. 

69 



60 CONVERSION. 

vices, — lying, stealing, profane swearing, 
sabbath-breaking, and the like. Yet he 
was not without some special restraints. 
One day, while at play with his wicked com- 
panions, a voice seemed to come to him from 
above : '' Wilt thou leave thy sins, and go to 
heaven; or have thy sins, and go to hell?" 
This put him into such consternation that he 
was constrained to leave his sports ; and, look- 
ing up to heaven, he thought he saT^ the Lord 
Jesus looking down upon him, and severely 
threatening him for his ungodly practices. 

At another time, while belching out blas- 
phemies, he was rebuked by a woman who 
was herself a notorious sinner. " She told 
me that I was the ungodliest fellow for 
swearing that she ever heard in all her life, 
and that I was enough to spoil all the youth 
in the town, if they but came in my com- 
pany. ''At this reproof," says Bunyan, ''I 
was silenced, and put to shame, and that, too, 
before the God of heaven. For somehow or 
other, from this time I left off swearing : and, 
not only so, I undertook to reform my life ; 



CONVERSION. 61 

and in this I so far succeeded that I really 
thought I pleased God as well as any man in 
England. My neighbors, too, did take me 
for a very godly man, and did marvel much 
at so great an alteration in my life and 
manners : and this gratified me exceedingly ; 
for, though I was nothing but a poor, painted 
hypocrite, I loved to be talked of as one that 
was truly godly." 

But this self-righteousness and self-com- 
placence did not last long. Very soon it 
was most effectually broken up ; and Bunyan 
tells us how it was done. '' Being at work 
at my trade " (which was that of a tinker), 
"in one of the streets of Bedford, I saw 
several poor women sitting at the door of a 
house, and talking about the things of God. 
I drew near enough to hear what was said ; 
but, though I heard, I understood not : their 
talk was about the new birth, and the work 
of God in their hearts. They told of their 
miserable state by nature, and how God had 
visited their souls with his love in Christ 
Jesus, and with what words of promise they 



62 CONVERSION. 

had been refreshed, comforted, and supported 
against the temptations of Satan; and me- 
thought they spoke with such pleasantness 
of Scripture language, and with such an ap- 
pearance of grace in all that they said, that 
they were to me as if they had found a new 
world. 

"After hearing them a while, I left 
them, but not without the most serious mis- 
givings as to my own spiritual state ; for I 
was sure that I knew nothing of the new 
birth, nor of the comforts of the words of 
promise, . nor of the deceitfulness and 
treachery of my own wicked heart." 

Bunyan was so much interested in the con- 
versation of these women, that he frequently 
sought their company ; and, the more he saw 
and heard them, the more he was satisfied 
that he had no religion. This thought filled 
him with terror and distress ; and now, for 
several years, he was a miserable being, the 
sport of his impressions, and of manifold temp- 
tations. Like most of the pious people 
among whom he dwelt, he laid great stress 



CONVERSION. 



63 



upon particular thoughts darted into his mind, 
or upon passages of Scripture suddenly 
brought to his recollection. If these were 
favorable to him, he would have a little hope, 
not that he was already converted, but that 
at some time he might be. But if these were 
against him, as they generally were, then he 
was in black despair : he was not one of the 
elect ; or he was given up of God, and his 
day of grace was past ; or he had committed 
the unpardonable sin. During much of this 
time, he durst not pray for himself, nor durst 
he ask others to pray for him ; since, for those 
who have committed the sin unto death. 
Christians are not allowed to pray (1 John 

V. 16). 

We never read this part of Bunyan's spir- 
itual history, as detailed by himself, without 
longing to be near him, that we might whis- 
per a word of instruction and consolation in 
his ear. Strange, that with the plain direc- 
tions of the Bible open before him, " Repent, 
and be converted, that your sins may be blot- 
ted out ; "' " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, 



64 CONVERSION, 

and thou shalt be saved," — he should turn 
away from such precious offers, and be driven 
almost to desperation by the suggestions of 
the wicked one. 

But at length, to use his own language, 
^' the time of comfort came. I heard one 
preach from these words : ' Behold, thou art 
fair, my love ; behold, thou art fair ' (Cant, 
iv. 1). The preacher dwelt much on the love 
of Clirist for his people. He loved them 
when under temptation and desertion ; loved 
them when they were hated of the world. 
As I was going home, these words were much 
in my thoughts, and began to kindle in my 
spirit, ' Thou art my love, thou art my love.' 
As they ran through my mind twenty times 
over, they waxed stronger and warmer ; and 
I began to look up, I began to give place to 
the blessed word ; and I said, ' Thou art my 
love, thou art my love ; and nothing shall ever 
separate thee from my love.^ And with that 
my heart was filled full of comfort and hope ; 
and now I would beheve that my sins would 
all be forgiven me : yea, I was now so taken 



CONVERSION, 65 

with the love and mercy of God, that I could 
scarcely contain till I got home. I thought I 
could have spoken of Christ's love, and have 
told of his mercy to me, even to the very 
crows that sat upon the pldughed land before 
me, had they been capable of understanding 
me. Wherefore I said in my soul, with much 
gladness, ' Oh that I had a pen and ink here ! 
I would write this down before I go any fur- 
ther ; for surely I cannot forget this in forty 
years.' " 

Here, evidently, was the conversion of 
Bunyan; and it consisted in the gushing 
forth of love^ — love to God and love to the 
Saviour, — complacent, grateful love for their 
infinite love and mercy towards him. 

Still, the trials of Bunyan were not ended. 
In his state and habit of mind, this was 
not to be expected. It was not long 
before his temptations returned ; and he 
was tossed and buffeted by them for many 
months. At one time, he was tempted to 
deny the existence of God, and the truth 
and inspiration of the Bible. At another 

5 



66 CONVERSION. 

time, he thought himself possessed of the 
devil ; and then that he had sinned against 
the Holy Ghost. If he attempted to praj^, 
he felt the de^il behind him, pulling his 
clothes, and trying to stop him. He was 
once beset with the temptation to sell his 
Saviour, as Judas did ; and the thought kept 
running in his mind night and day : '^ Sell 
him, sell him, sell him ! " And because 
once, in his desperation, he had allowed 
the thought to escape him, '' Let him go, if 
he will,'* he suffered for a long time all the 
horrors of despair. He had done just as 
Esau did, sold his birthright ; and, like Esau, 
he could find no place for repentance. He 
had sold his Saviour for less than Judas re- 
ceived, and deserved a greater damnation. 

It is not to be understood, however, that 
these temptations constantly prevailed. At 
times he was reheved : hope beamed upon 
him ; and his heart was filled with love and 
joy. He had great comfort in reading 
" Luther's Commentary on the Galatians.'' 
His first love was restored to him ; and he 



CONVERSION. 67 

was enabled to say, " I loved Christ dearty. 
My soul clung to him ; my affections cleaved 
to him : I felt my love to him as hot as fire." 

Nor. were the temptations of Bunyan, 
while they lasted, altogether without profit. 
They gave him a knowledge of his own 
heart, and qualified him to deal with others 
in like circumstances. They prepared him 
to write " The Pilgrim's Progress " and 
"The Holy War;" and no one can fully 
understand these precious allegories, without 
first learning the experience of their author, 
as det^-iled in his " Grace abounding to the 
Chief of Sinners." 

When the mind of Bunyan had become in 
some measure settled, he joined the Baptist 
church in Bedford; and in the year 1656, 
when he was twenty-eight years old, he be- 
gan to preach the everlasting gospel ; and in 
this work he persevered, — except that, for 
doing it, he was twelve years shut up in 
Bedford jail, — to the end of life. He 
was a burning and shining light while he 
lived; and his light still shines, though he 



68 CONVERSION. 

has been a hundred years dead. He had 
many souls given him as the seals of his 
ministry, and secured a name and fame 
among his brethren which will never be for- 
gotten. 



SECTION VI. 

Conversion of Lady Huntington and William Cowper. 
LADY HUNTINGTON. 

SELINA SHIRLEY, afterwards Lady 
Huntington, was the second daughter 
of Earl Ferrars, and was born at Churtley, 
Aug, 24, 1707. Almost from infancy, an 
uncommon seriousness shaded the natural 
gladness of her childhood. When only nine 
years old, she was much affected by the 
death and burial of one of her playmates. 
While weeping at the grave, a deep concern 
as to her own future state took possession 
of her heart; and, with many tears, she 
earnestly implored God, that, whenever he 
should be pleased to take her away, he 
would deliver her from all her fears, and 



70 CONVERSION. 

give her a liappy departure. She often vis- 
ited the grave of her little friend, and ever 
retained a lively sense of the affecting scene 
she had there witnessed. 

In her juvenile days, she often retired for 
prayer to a particular closet, where she could 
not be observed ; and in all her troubles 
found relief in pouring out the feelings of 
her heart to God. 

At the age of twenty-one, she was married 
to Theophilus, Earl of Huntington, a man of 
high and exemplary character, and thus be- 
came allied to a family whose tastes and prin- 
ciples coincided with her own. During the 
first years of her married life, it was her prin- 
cipal endeavor, amid all the splendors and ex- 
citements of high English society, to maintain 
a conscience void of offence. She strove to 
fulfil the various duties of her position with 
scrupulous exactness. She was sincere, just, 
and upright; she prayed, fasted, and gave 
alms ; she was courteous, considerate, and 
charitable. Still, she was not spiritually 
happy. " I have done virtuously," she could 



CONVERSION. 71 

say; " but how can I tell when I have done 
enough ? I am sure that I have not satisfied 
the claims of God's holy law." 

Lord Huntington had several sisters, whose 
thoughtful cast of mind made them partic- 
ularly welcome at his house. One of these, 
Lady Margaret Hastings, had recently been 
converted under the ministry of Rev. Benja- 
min Ingham, a particular friend of the Wes- 
leys, to whom she was afterwards married. 
In conversation with Lady Huntington, she 
opened to her the way of pardon and peace 
through a crucified Saviour, and spoke, 
at length, of her own blessed experience : 
'' Since I have known and believed in the 
Lord Jesus Christ," she said, " I have been 
as happy as an angel." This remark startled 
Lady Huntington. It taught her, that, with 
all her seriousness and apparent goodness, 
she was yet a stranger to the hopes and con- 
solations of the gospel. In her anxieties on 
this subject, she was thrown upon a bed of 
sickness, and brought apparently near to the 
grave. The fear of death fell terribly upon 



72 CONVERSION. 

her. It was to no purpose that she re- 
minded herself of the uprightness of her 
past life. Her best righteousness, so far 
from justifying her before God, appeared 
only to increase her condemnation. She 
saw that her "heart was deceitful above all 
things, and desperately wicked;" that "all 
have sinned, and come short of the glory of 
God." When upon the point of perishing, 
in her own apprehension, the words of Lady 
Margaret were brought home to her heart ; 
and she felt a strong desire, renouncing 
every other hope, to cast herself upon Christ 
alone for pardon and salvation. To this end, 
she lifted up her heart to God in most impor- 
tunate prayer, and was enabled to make the 
surrender for which she prayed. Immedi- 
ately, all her fears and distress were re- 
moved; and her soul was filled with joy and 
peace. The Sun of Righteousness arose 
upon her, with healing in his b^ams. The 
scales fell from her ej^es, opening a passage 
for the light of Hfe; and death and darkness 
fled before it. Viewing herself as a brand 



CONVERSION. 73 

plucked from the burning, she could but 
adore that grace which had snatched her 
from the brink of ruin, and filled her soul 
with the joy of heaven. The conversion 
here recorded commenced in faith^ and, as 
is usual in such cases, was followed with an 
abundance of peace. 

From the moment of Lady Huntington's 
change, her bodily disease took a favorable 
turn. She was soon restored to health, and 
entered at once upon a new course of life. 
She became a regular attendant on the 
preaching of the Methodists, entertained 
them at her house, and had frequent meet- 
ings there, to which the nobility were in- 
vited. Even Chesterfield and Bolingbroke 
were repeatedly present to hear Whitefield, 
and seemed not a little affected with some of 
his discourses. She labored for the poor as 
well as the rich, relieved their wants, and 
sought their happiness here and hereafter. 
Her liberality extended beyond her own 
church. She had correspondence with Drs. 
Watts and Doddridge, and with other emi- 



74 CONVERSION. 

nent dissenting ministers. She had repeated 
interviews with the king and queen, and was 
regarded by them with peculiar favor. 

Lady Huntington experienced no opposi- 
tion from her noble husband while he lived ; 
but subsequent to his death, and that of the 
most of her children, she took a more de- 
cided stand for the gospel. After the sepa- 
ration between Wesley and Whitefield, she 
attached herseK to the interests of the latter, 
and became the great patron and supporter 
of the Calvinistic Methodists. She built 
chapels for them, supported ministers, and, 
by the aid of opulent persons, — many of 
them connections of her family, — estab- 
lished a college at Travecca (in South 
Wales) for the education of preachers. 
This college was afterwards removed to 
Cheshunt (Hertfordshire), where it still 
exists. 

Lady Huntington died June 17, 1791, at 
the advanced age of eighty-four. When the 
blood-vessel broke which was the occasion 
of her death, she said to one of her attend- 



CONVERSION. 75 

ants, '' I am well: all is well, — well forever. 
Wherever I turn my eyes, whether I live or 
die, I see nothing but victory." Almost her 
last words were, '' My work is done : I have 
nothing now to do but to go to my Father." 

WILLIAM COWPER. 

Most of my readers are acquainted with 
the early history of this gifted, amiable, but 
often unhappy man, the author of " The 
Task," and of some of our sweetest and 
most beautiful hymns. He was constitution- 
ally predisposed to melancholy and derange- 
ment ; and while under deep convictions of 
sin, especially the sin of self-murder, which 
he had attempted, he fell into a state of com 
plete despair. He gives the following ac 
count of his deliverance from this state, after 
remaining in it for several months : — 
■ " Having risen one morning, with some- 
f what of a more cheerful feeling, I repaired 
to my room, where breakfast waited for me- 
While I sat at table, I found the cloud of 
horror, which had so long hung over me, 



76 CONVERSION. 

was every moment passing away ; and every 
moment came fraught with hope. I was 
continually more and more persuaded that I 
was not utterly doomed to destruction. The 
way of salvation was still, however, hid from 
my eyes ; nor did I see it at all clearer than 
before my illness. I only thought, that, if it 
pleased God to spare me, I would lead a 
better life ; and that I would yet escape hell, 
if a religious observance of my duty would 
secure me from it. Thus may the terror of 
the Lord make a Pharisee ; but only the 
sweet voice of mercy in the gospel can make a 
Christian. 

" But the happy period which was to shake 
off my fetters, and afford me a clear opening 
of the free mercy of God in Christ Jesus, 
had now arrived. I flung myself into a chair, 
near the window, and, seeing a Bible there, 
ventured once more to apply to it for comfort 
and instruction. The first verse I saw was 
the twenty-fifth of the third chapter of Ro- 
mans : ' Whom God hath set forth to be a 
propitiation, through faith in his blood, to 



CONVERSION. 77 

declare his righteousness, for the remission of 
sins that are past, through the forbearance of 
God, — to declare, I say, at this time, his 
righteousness, that he might be just, and the 
justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.' 
Immediately I received strength to believe ; 
and the full beams of the Sun of Righteous- 
ness shone upon me. I saw the sufficiency 
of the atonement which Christ had made, 
saw my pardon sealed in his blood, and all 
the fulness and completeness of his salvation. 
In a moment I believed, and received the 
gospel. And now, unless the almighty arm 
had been under me, I think I should have 
died with gratitude and joy. My eyes filled 
with tears, and my voice choked with trans- 
port : I could only look up to heaven with 
silent fear, overwhelmed with love and won- 
der. But the work of the Spirit is best 
described in his own words : it is ' a joy un- 
speakable, and full of glory.' 

" Thus was my heavenly Father in Christ 
Jesus pleased to give me the full assurance 
of faith, and, out of a strong, unbelieving 



78 COXVERSION. 

heart, to raise up a child unto Abraham. 
How glad should I novr hare been to have 
spent every moment in praise and thanksgiv- 
ing I I lost no opportunity of repairing to a 
throne of grace. I flevr to it with an ear-, 
nestness irresistible, and never to be satisfied. 
Could I help it ? Could I do otherwise than 
love and rejoice in my reconciled Father in 
Chidst Jesus ? The Lord had enlarged my 
heart ; and I ran in the way of his command- 
ments. 

" For many succeeding weeks, tears were 
ready to flow, if I did but speak of the gos- 
pel, or so much as mention the name of 
Jesus. To rejoice day and night was all my 
employment. Too ha]3py to sleep much, I 
thought it was lost time that was spent in 
slumber. Oh that the ardor of my first love 
had continued I But I have known many a 
lifeless and unhallowed hour since, — long in- 
tervals of darkness, interrupted by short 
returns of peace and joy in believing." 

It will be seen that the conversion of 
Cowper, like that of Lady Huntington, 



CONVERSION. 79 

began in faith. The first holy exercise of 
which he was conscious was one of faith. 
He had opened to him the way of salvation 
by Christ ; and instantly he embraced it. He 
embraced it with all the ardor of a despairing 
soul; and at once he was filled with an 
almost insupportable joy. Could he help it ? 
Could he do otherwise than rejoice in his 
reconciled Father in Christ Jesus ? 



SECTION VII. 

Conversion of Col. James Gardiner and Andrew Fuli*er. 
COL. JAMES GARDINER. 

COL. GARDINER was born on the 16th 
of January, 1688, — the year of the 
glorious revolution which placed William 
and Mary upon the throne. His father was 
a military officer, and died young. His 
mother was an excellent Christian lady, who 
did every thing in her power for the tempo- 
ral and spiritual welfare of her son. Like 
his father, he was trained for the army, and 
actually held an ensign's commission when 
only fourteen years old. His early life was 
one of sinful indulgence, in which he seemed 
to take so much delight, that he was prover- 
bially called " the happy rake." Still, he 

80 



CONVERSION, 81 

was not happy. On tlie contrary, he was so 
miserable, that when, on one convivial occa- 
sion, a dog • chanced to pass through the 
room, he could not forbear saying to him- 
self, " Oh, that I were that dog ! " 

One evening in the summer of 1719, while 
he was sitting up late to meet a criminal ap- 
pointment, he took up a religious book which 
his mother had given him, and began to read 
it: and, as he read, he thought he saw a 
blaze of light fall on the book; and, Hfting 
up his eyes to see what caused it, he beheld 
before him an appearance of the Lord Jesus 
Christ upon the cross, surrounded on all sides 
with a halo of glory. At the same time, he 
heard a voice, saying, '' O sinner ! did I suffer 
all this for you? And are these the re- 
turns ? " 

The probability is, that he saw and heard 
all this in vision, — in a state of partial sleep ; 
though he seemed to himself, and constantly 
afifirmed, that he was fully awake. 

Overwhelmed with what he saw, he sunk 
back into his chair, and continued there, he 



82 CONVERSION, 

knew not how long, in a state of insensibility. 
When he came to himself, the vision had de- 
parted, and he saw it no more. 

He rose from his seat in tKe greatest ex- 
citement, and walked back and forth in his 
chamber till he was ready to fall down in his 
agony, regarding himself as the vilest mon- 
ster on the face of the earth, who had all his 
life been crucifying, by his sins, the Son 
of God afresh. He had also such a view 
of the goodness and glory of God as led him 
to abhor himself, and repent in dust and 
ashes. He at once gave judgment against 
himself, that he was most justly worthy of 
eternal damnation. He was astonished that 
he had not been struck dead in the midst of 
his wickedness. Still, he did not so much 
suffer from the fear of hell, though he ex- 
pected it would soon be his portion, as from 
a sense of his horrible ingratitude to the God 
of his life, and to that blessed Redeemer who 
had been so marvellously set forth as cruci- 
fied before him. 

In this state of mind he continued for some 



CONVERSION. 83 

considerable time, mourning over his sins, but 
indulging no hope of pardon and eternal life. 
Yet he seems, like Paul, to have been con- 
verted almost upon the spot: for before he 
left his chamber the following day, as his 
biographer (Dr. Doddridge) remarks, " the 
whole frame and disposition of his soul was 
changed ; so that he became, and continued 
to the end of life, an exemplary and devoted 
Christian, — the very opposite of what he had 
been before." 

The first exercises of this man's renewed 
heart were those of deep and thorough repent- 
ance^ — a godly sorrow and self-loathing for 
sin. Of course, he could not come at once 
into the possession of that overwhelming joy 
which was the experience of Cowper. Still, 
the conversion of the former was no less real 
and satisfactory than that of the latter. 

Col. Gardiner was a brave Christian officer, 
who fell at the battle of Preston-Pans, fight- 
ing for his king against the Popish Pretender, 
on the 21st of September, 1745. 



84 COXVERSIOX, 



ANDREW FULLER. 



This excellent man was bom at Wicken 
(Cambridgeshire, England), in 1754 ; was ed- 
ucated among the Particular or Calvinistic 
Baptists, and continued attached to that de- 
nomination as long as he lived. In his youth, 
he had frequent convictions of sin, and fre- 
quent struggles between his inclinations and 
his conscience, between the strivings of the 
Spirit and the suggestions of his evil heart. 
He often spent his evenings in vain and sin- 
ful company, to which he was strongly 
attached, and on leaving which he was in 
great distress. The instructions which he 
received, too, were not favorable to his speedy 
conversion. Instead of leading him directly 
to Christ, they tended rather to hold him in a 
waiting posture, — waiting for the great work 
to be performed. Still, his impressions con- 
tinued ; and the Spirit was not grieved away. 

''In the autumn of 1769," says he, ''my 
convictions returned upon me with such con- 
cern as, I trust, issued in my conversion. 



CONVERSION. 85 

One morning I walked out, with an unusual 
load of guilt upon my conscience. The re- 
membrance of my sins, the breach of my yows, 
and the shocking , termination of my former 
impressions and hopes, all uniting together, 
formed a burthen which I knew not how to 
bear. The reproaches of a guilty conscience 
seemed like the gnawing worm of hell. The 
very fire of the bottomless pit seemed to burn 
within me. I saw that God would be per- 
fectly just in sending me to hell ; and that to 
hell I must go, unless I were saved by mere 
grace, and, as it were, in spite of myself. I 
felt, that, if God were to forgive my past sins, 
I should again destroy myself, and that in 
less than a day's tirne. I continued crying, 
' What must I do ? What must I do ? ' For, 
with the instructions I had received, I knew 
not what to do. I durst not promise amend- 
ment, for I saw that such promises were a 
delusion ; and to hope for forgiveness in the 
course I was then pursuing was the height 
of presumption ; and to think of Christ, after 
having so often abused his grace, was too 



86 CONVERSION. 

much : so I had no hght, and no refuge. I 
was like a drowning man, looking every way 
for help, and catching, at something with 
which to save his life. In this deplorable, 
despairing state, I thought of the resolution 
of Job : ' Though he slay me, yet will I trust 
in him/ I paused, and repeated the words 
over and over ; and every repetition seemed 
to kindle a ray of hope. 

" According to the instructions I had 
received, I supposed that no sinner had a 
ivarrant to believe in Christ, but there must 
be some kind of qualification to entitle him 
to do so ; and I was sure that I had no such 
qualification. I regarded my case as re- 
sembhng that of Esther, who went into the 
king's presence contrary to law, and at the peril 
of her life ; and I resolved to do as she did. 
I felt something attracting me to Christ ; and 
I said, ' I must, I will, — yes, I will^ trust my 
lost soul to his hands ; and, if I perish, I 
perish.' And here I found rest for my 
troubled spirit. My heart felt at one with 
Christ, and dead to every other object around 
me. 



CONVERSION. 87 

" From this time, my former wicked 
courses were all forsaken. I had no desire 
for them. For those evils, a glance at which 
before would have set my passions in a 
flame, I felt no inclination. In reference to 
them, I could now say, with joy and tri- 
umph, ' My soul is as a weaned child ! ' " 

Soon after this, Mr. Fuller became a mem- 
ber of the Baptist church in Soham. He 
early commenced speaking and praying in 
rehgious meetings ; and this he did so much 
to the edification of his brethren, that, after 
a year or two, they called and licensed him 
to be a preacher of the gospel. He lived to 
be one of the most useful ministers in Eng- 
land or in the world. He died peacefully, 
triumphantly, in the spring of 1815, at the 
age of sixty-one. 



SECTION VIII. 

Conversion of Pkdsident Edwards and David Bkainerd. 
PRESIDENT EDWARDS. 

THIS distinguished divine was the son of 
a minister, was religiously educated, 
was the subject of frequent, solemn impres- 
sions, and was regular in the performance of 
religious duties, from his childhood. Soon 
after leaving college, when about seventeen 
years of age, he experienced a change in his 
affections, which he describes in the follow- 
ing manner : — 

" From my childhood up, my mind had 
been full of objections against the doctrine 
of God's sovereignty in choosing whom he 
would to eternal life, and leaving others to 
perish in their sins. It appeared like a hor- 
rible doctrine to me ; but I remember the 
time very well when I became convinced, 

88 



CONVERSION. 89 

and fully satisfied, as to the sovereignty 
of God, and his justice in thus disposing 
of men according to his sovereign pleas- 
ure. 

" The first instance that I remember of 
that inward, sweet dehght in God and divine 
things, in which I have lived much of the 
time since, was on reading these words: 
' Now, unto the King eternal, immortal, in- 
visible, the only wise God, be honor and glory 
for ever and ever, amen.' As I read the words, 
there came into my soul, and was diffused 
through it, a sense of the glory of the divine 
Being, — a new sense, quite different from 
any thing I ever experienced before. Never 
any words of Scripture seemed to me as 
these words did. 

" From about that time, I began to have 
new apprehensions and ideas of Christ, and 
the glorious way of salvation by him. An 
inward sweet sense of these things came into 
my heart ; and my soul was led away in 
pleasant views and contemplations of them. 
My mind was much occupied in reading and 



90 CONVERSION. 

meditating upon Christ, on the beauty and 
excellency of his person, and the lovely way 
of salvation, by free grace, through him. I 
found no books so delightful to me as those 
that treated of these subjects. The sense 
which I had of divine things would often, of 
a sudden, kindle up a sweet burning in my 
heart, — an ardor of soul that I know not 
how to express. 

'' Not long after I began to experience 
these things, I had a conversation with my 
father on the subject. I was much affected 
by the discourse ; and, when it was ended, I 
walked abroad in a solitary place for contem- 
plation. And while I was there, looking up 
on the sky and clouds, there came into my 
mind a sweet sense of the glorious majesty 
and grace of God, which I know not how to 
express. I seemed to see them both in -a 
sweet conjunction, — majesty and meekness 
joined together. It was a sweet and gentle 
and holy majesty, and also a majestic meek- 
ness, an awful sweetness, a high and great 
and holy gentleness. 



CONYEnSION. 91 

"After tMs, my sense of divine things 
gradually increased, and became more and 
more lively, and had more of that inward 
sweetness. The appearance of every thing 
was altered. There seemed to be a calm, 
sweet cast or appearance of divine glory in 
almost every thing. God's excellency, his 
wisdom, his purity, and love seemed to shine 
in every thing ; in the sun, moon, and stars ; 
in the clouds and the blue sky ; in the grass, 
flowers, and trees ; in the water, and in all 
nature. I used often to sit and view the 
moon for a long time ; and, in the day, I 
spent much time in viewing the clouds and 
sky, that I might behold the glory of God in 
these things, in the mean time singing 
forth, in a low voice, my contemplations of 
the Creator and Redeemer. 

'' I had, then, great satisfaction as to my 
good estate ; but this did not content me. I 
had vehement longings of soul after God and 
Christ, and after more holiness, wherewith 
my heart seemed to be full, and ready to 
break. I often felt a mourning and lament- 



92 CONVERSION. 

ing in my heart that I had not turned to 
God sooner, and thus had more time to 
grow in grace. I spent most of my time, for 
years, in thinking of divine things, often 
walking alone in the woods and sohtary 
places for meditation, soliloquy, prayer, and 
converse with . God ; and it was my usual 
^nanner, at such times, to sing forth my con- 
templations. Wherever I was, I was almost 
constantly in ejaculatory prayer. Prayer 
seemed to be as natural to me as the breath 
by which the inward burnings of my heart 
had vent." 

I have quoted the more largely from the 
early recorded experience of Pres. Edwards, 
not only that the fact and form of his con- 
version might appear, but that my readers 
might see the foundation which was laid in 
youth for the subsequent spiritual elevation 
and usefulness of this great and good man. 
His conversion commenced obviously in love^ 
— in such new and glorious views of the 
character of God as filled and fired his soul 
with love and admiration. And commen- 



CONVERSION, 93 

cing his Christian life in such a close walk 
with God, in all the exercises of love and 
duty, it is no wonder that God exalted him 
among his people, and made him perhaps 
the most eminent teacher of divine things 
which America has known. 

DAVID BRAINERD. 

Brainerd, like Pres. Edwards, was the 
subject of religious impressions from his 
early youth. He attended regularly to the 
duties of religion in public and in private, 
and earnestly sought to do something to 
recommend himseK to the favor of heaven ; 
but, being continually disappointed in at- 
tempts of this nature, his heart at length 
broke out into a violent and sensible quarrel 
with God. He was displeased with the strict- 
ness of the divine law, with the prescribed 
and unalterable conditions of salvation, 
and especially with the doctrine of divine 
sovereignty. After continuing in this state 
for some considerable time, seeking rest and 
finding none, he was brought to acquiesce in 



94 CONVERSION, 

those views of God which he had fomierly 
opposed, and to rejoice in hope of his glory. 
His conversion, as to the form of it, was 
strikingly similar to that of his great teacher 
and patron, Pres. Edwards. , 

" I was attempting to pray, but found no 
heart to engage in that or any other duty. 
My former concern, exercises, and rehgious 
impressions seemed to be gone. I thought 
that the Spirit of God had quite left me ; 
but still I was not distressed, though discon- 
solate, as if there was nothing in heaven or 
earth that could make me happy. Having 
thus been endeavoring to pray, though in a 
very stupid and senseless manner, for near 
half an hour, then, as I was walking alone 
in a dark, thick grove, an unspeakahle glory 
seemed to open to the view and apprehension 
of my soul. I do not mean any external 
brightness ; for I saw no such thing. Nor do I 
intend any imagination of a body of light 
somewhere in the third heavens, nor any 
thing of that nature ; but it was a new in- 
ward apprehension or view that I had of 



CONVERSION. 95 

God, and^ as I never had before, nor any 
thing which had the least resemblance of it. 
I stood still, I wondered, I admired ! I 
knew that I had never before seen any thing 
comparable to it for excellence and beauty. 
It was widely different from all the concep- 
tions that I ever had of God, or of things 
divine. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeaka- 
ble to see such a God, such a glorious divine 
Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satis- 
fied that he should be Giod over all for ever 
and ever. My soul was- so captivated and 
delighted with the excellence, loveliness, 
greatness, and other perfectioas of God, that 
I was swallowed up in him, — at least, to 
that degree that I had no thought, at first, 
about my own salvation, and scarce reflected 
that there was such a creature as myself. I 
continued in this state of inward joy, peace, 
and astonishment until near dark, without 
any sensible abatement ; and then I began to 
think and examine what I had seen, and felt 
sweetly composed in my mind all the follow- 
ing evening. I felt myself in a new world ; 



96 CONVJ^RSION. 

and every thing about me appeared in a 
different aspect from what it had done. At 
this time, the way of salvation opened to me 
with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and 
excellency, that I wondered I should ever 
think of any other way. I was amazed that 
I had not dropped my own contrivances, and 
complied with this lovely, blessed, and excel- 
lent way before. If I could have been saved 
by my own duties, or in any other way that 
I had formerly contrived, my whole soul 
would now have refused it. I wondered that 
all the world did not see and comply with 
this way of salvation by the righteousness of 
Christ. The sweet relish of what I then felt 
continued with me for several days, almost 
constantly. Wherever I was, — sitting, walk- 
ing, Ijdng down, and rising up, — I could not 
but sweetly rejoice in God." 

David Brainerd died in the thirtieth year 
of his age ; but he lived long enough to accom- 
plish a work, and acquire an influence, which 
will never die. How many young ministers 
have been incited by his example to devote 



CONV]i;RSION, 97 

themselves to the service of Christ among the 
heathen ! And how many missionaries have 
been sustained and encouraged in their ardu- 
ous labors, by reading the story of his trials 
and successes among the Indians at Kauna- 
meck and Crosweeksung ! 



SECTION IX. 

Conversion of Dr. Hopkins of Newport, and Dr. Emmons. 
DR. HOPKINS OF NEWPORT. 

THE late Dr. Samuel Hopkins of New- 
port was a self-righteous and confident 
professor of religion for some time before he 
came to a saving knowledge of the truth. He 
was awakened to a deep sense of his true 
character and dangler while a member of 
Yale College, through the instrumentality of 
David Brainerd. " After Brainerd left my 
room," says he, " to which he had come for 
rehgious conversation, the conviction fixed 
upon me that I was no Christian. The evil 
of mj heart, the hardness and unbehef of 
it, came more and more into view ; and the 
evil case in which I was appeared more and 
more dreadful. I felt myself a guilty, justly- 

98 



CONVERSION, 99 

condemned creature ; and my hope of relief 
by obtaining conversion failed more and more : 
and, as all help failed, my condition appeared 
darker from day to day. I felt myself to be 
nothing but ignorance, stupidity, and guilt. 
Thus I continued for some weeks, generally 
retired, except when I attended private meet- 
ings of young people for praise and prayer. 
At length, as I was one evening in my closet, 
engaged in meditation and devotion, a new 
and wonderful scene opened to my view. I 
had a sense of the being and presence of God 
as I never had before ; it being more of a re- 
ality, and more affecting and glorious, than I 
had ever before perceived. And the charac- 
ter of Jesus Christ, the Mediator, came into 
view, and appeared such a reality and so glo- 
rious, and the way of salvation by him so 
wise, important, and desirable, that I was as- 
tonished at myself that I had never seen these 
things before, which were so plain, pleasing, 
and wonderful. I longed to have all men see 
and know these things, as they now appeared 
to me. 



100 CONVERSION, 

" I was greatly affected in view of my own 
depravity, — the sinfulness, guilt, and odious- 
ness of my character; and tears flowed in 
great plenty. After some time, I left my 
closet, and went into the adjoining room. 
No other person being there, I walked the 
room, all intent upon these subjects. I took 
up Watts's version of the Psalms, opened at 
the fifty-first, and read, with strong affection, 
• the first, second, and third parts, in long me- 
tre. I made it all my own language, and 
thought it was the language of my heart to 
God. I dwelt upon it with pleasure, and 
wept much. And, when I had laid aside the 
book, my mind continued fixed upon the sub- 
ject, in the exercise of devotion, confession, 
adoration, petition, in which I seemed to pour 
out my heart with great freedom to God. I 
gave all attention to the things of religion, in 
which most around me appeared to be en- 
gaged. Among the students, there were 
many instances of conversion ; and I felt a 
peculiar pleasing affection for those who ap- 
peared to be Christians." 



CONVERSION, 101 

We have here another instance of conver- 
sion, very like in form to those of Edwards and 
Brainerd, — new and glorious views of God, 
accompanied with new affections of love, 
admiration, and devotion. After leaving col- 
lege, Hopkins became a pupil of Edwards, 
and was long a burning and shining light in 
our American churches. 



DR. NATHANIEL EMMONS. 

Dr. Emmons was born of pious parents, was 
religiously educated, and from childhood was 
the subject of ^frequent solemn impressions. 
His life, too, was moral and amiable ; and he 
had a great desire to be a minister of Christ, 
though he did not think himself prepared for 
the work. In this state of mind, he passed 
through college, and even entered on his pro- 
fessional studies. " Still," he says, '' I never 
indulged a thought of preaching, unless I had 
some good reason to believe that I was the 
subject of a saving change ; for I viewed a 
graceless minister as a most inconsistent, 



102 C02^ VERSION. 

criminal, and odious character. Accordingly, 
when I began to read divinity, I began a con- 
stant practice of daily reading the Bible, and 
of praying to God in secret. With such res- 
olutions, I entertained a hope that God would 
very sooii grant me his special grace, and give 
me satisfactory evidence of this quaUfication 
for the ministry." 

After pursuing this course for a time. Dr. 
Emmons concluded to change his theological 
teacher, and placed himself under the in- 
struction of the late Dr. Smalley of Berlin, 
Conn. '' His plain and instructive preaching," 
says the writer, '^ increased my concern, and 
gave me a more sensible conviction of the 
plague of my own heart, and of my real oppo- 
sition to the way of salvation revealed in the 
gospel. My heart rose against the doctrine 
of divine sovereignty ; and I felt greatly em- 
barrassed with respect to the use of means. 
I read certain books which convinced me that 
the best desires and prayers of sinners were 
altogether selfish, criminal, and displeasing to 
God. I knew not what to do, nor where to 



CONVERSION, i03 

go for relief. A deep sense of my total de- 
pravity of heart, and of the sovereignty of God, 
in having mercy on whom he will have mer- 
cy, destroyed my dependence on men and 
. means, and made me almost despair of ever 
attaining salvation, or becoming fit for any 
thing but the damnation of hell. But one 
afternoon, when my hopes were gone, I had 
a peculiar discovery of the divine perfections, 
and of the way of salvation by Jesus Christ, 
which filled my mind with a joy and serenity 
to which I had ever before been a perfect stran- 
ger. This was followed by a peculiar spirit 
of benevolence to all my fellow-men, whether 
friends or foes ; and I was transported with 
the thought of the unspeakable blessedness . 
of the day when universal benevolence should 
prevail among all mankind. I felt a peculiar 
complacence in good men, but thought they 
were extremely stupid, because they did not 
appear to be more delighted with the gospel, 
and more engaged to promote the cause of 
Christ. 1 pitied the deplorable condition of 
ignorant, stupid sinners, and thought I could 



104 CONVERSION. 

preach so plainly as to convince everybody of 
the glory and importance of the gospel." 

In form, the conversion of Dr. Emmons 
was very like to that of Pres. Edwards and 
Brainerd and Dr. Hopkins. He had new 
views of the perfections and character of 
God, inducing a conscious love to that char- 
acter, and benevolence to all mankind. 
About six months after his conversion, Dr. 
Emmons made a public profession of reh- 
gion, and soon commenced the work of 
preaching the gospel, — a work which he con- 
tinued with unprecedented celebrity and 
usefulness for almost sixty years. He prob- 
ably wrote and delivered more good sermons 
than any man who has ever Hved in New 
England. He voluntarily retired from the 
pulpit thirteen years before his death. 



t 



SECTION X. 

Conversion of Samuel J. Mills, Dr. Cornelius, and 
Rev. Sylvester Larned. 

SAMUEL J. MILLS. 

THE spiritual career of this devoted ser- 
vant of Christ and the Church com- 
menced in the following manner: When 
about fifteen years of age, his attention was 
specially directed to the great concerns of 
the soul. For two full years he continued 
in a state of anxiety, quarrelling with the 
sovereignty of God, and often wishing that 
he had never been born. One morning, as 
he was about to leave home to return to 
school in a neighboring town, his pious 
mother took the opportunity of inquiring 
into the state of his mind, and begged him 
to make an ingenuous disclosure of his feel- 
ings. For a moment he was silent, and 

105 



108 CONVERSION. 

wept ; but his heart was too full long to 
suppress the emotions produced by so affect- 
ing a request. He raised his head ; and, with 
his eyes streaming with tears, he exclaimed, 
'' Oh that I had never been born ! Oh that 
I had never been born ! For two years I 
have been sorry that God ever made me." 
What reply could such a mother make to 
such a disclosure ? It was given her, in that 
same hour, what she should speak. " My 
son," said she, "you are born ; and you can 
never throw off your existence, nor your 
everlasting accountability for all your con- 
duct." This thought was like a dagger to 
his soul. His mother expressed the fear that 
he had never thoroughly seen the evil of his 
own heart ; to which he replied : '' I have 
seen to the very bottom of hell ! " 

In this frame of mind, he took a melan- 
choly leave of his parents for the winter. 
What took place under his father's roof may 
be easily conjectured. His farewell to his 
mother drove her to her knees : she felt his 
sorrows and her own ; nor did she leave her 



CONVEESIOl^. 107 

closet till she found relief in the confidence 
that God would have mercy upon her dear 
child. And it ought to be recorded, that, on 
that very morning, it pleased the Holy Ghost 
to knock off the chains from this unhappy 
prisoner, and introduce him into the liberty 
of the sons of God. He had not walked far 
before he had such a view of the perfections 
of God that he wondered he had never seen 
their beauty and glory before. There was 
nothing in God now that distressed him. 
He had lost all his opposition to the divine 
sovereignty ; and such were his views of this 
adorable perfection, that he could not help 
exclaiming, '' O glorious sovereignty \ O 
glorious sovereignty I " He retired a small 
distance into the woods, that he might be 
more at liberty to contemplate the character 
of God, and adore and extol his holy and 
amiable sovereignty ; but he here saw so 
much of God that his mind was almost lost 
in the overwhelming manifestation. The 
scene was altogether new. There was a 
wonderful change either in God or in him. 



108 CONVERSION, 

Every thing was gilded with light and glory ; 
and ever and anon, as he gazed at the splen- 
dor and majesty of the divine character, he 
would still exclaim, '^ O glorious sovereign- 
ty ! " His mind was so constantly occupied 
in viewing the perfections of God, and in 
meditating on his word and works, that for 
weeks he hardly thought of liimself, or made 
the inquiry whether he was converted or not. 
From this time Mr. Mills entered, with 
the greatest earnestness, upon the work of his 
new spiritual life. At Williams College and 
at the Theological Seminary, he aroused a 
spirit among his fellow-students which led 
to the formation of the American Board of 
Foreign Missions. He matured the plans 
which resulted in the establishment of the 
United Foreign Missionary Society and of 
the American Bible Society. He did more 
than any other man to promote, in its early 
stages, the cause of Home Missions. And it 
was while he was returning from a mission 
of mercy to the western coast of Africa, that 
he was taken sick on shipboard, and was 



CONVERSIOir. 109 

buried in the sea. The beginning of all the 
good which he accomplished on earth, and 
of the glory which he now possesses in 
heaven, may be traced to that interesting 
morning when he first bowed to the sover- 
eignty of God. 

DR. CORNELIUS. 

It is scarcely necessary to say any thing 
respecting the- early life and character of the 
late Dr. Ehas Cornehus. He was born at 
Somers, N.Y., in 1794, and entered Yale 
College in 1810. " During most of his col- 
lege life," says a fellow-student, " he was 
certainly a very thoughtless young man. Of 
prepossessing personal appearance, of a gen- 
erous, frank, and sociable disposition, fond 
of company and amusement, his society was 
coveted by the inconsiderate and irreligious 
portion of the students. Among them he 
was a leader, though not addicted, so far as 
I know, to vicious practices." Upon his re- 
turn to college, at the close of the winter 
vacation of his senior year, he appeared 



110 CONVERSION. 

thoughtful and solemn. Says another col- 
lege friend, " He early disclosed to me the 
state of his mind. There was something 
about him which excited the most lively in- 
terest in his case. His convictions were un- 
usually deej) and painful. Of the character 
of God, as a holy, righteous sovereign; of 
the purity of his law, and of the extent of 
his requirements ; of the entire depravity of 
his own heart, and of the sinfulness of his 
past life, — he had very clear perceptions ; of 
the truth of the declaration, ' The carnal 
mind is enmity against God,' he had most 
distressing proof in his own experience. He 
saw that he was in the hands of God, who 
was reasonable in his demands, and would be 
just in condemning the sinner. But his 
heart rose, at times, in fearful rebellion 
against his Maker. Like the bullock un- 
accustomed to the yoke, he struggled, and 
seemed determined not to submit ; and I 
trembled lest the Spirit, thus resisted, would 
be grieved away. His anguish of soul was 
almost insupportable." 



« 



CONVERSION, 111 

In the month of March, about six or 
seven weeks after the commencement of his 
religious impressions, he found peace in sub- 
mission to God. '' One day," remarks a 
fellow-student, " he knocked at my door. 
On opening it, his countenance told me that 
the contest was over. The storm had passed 
away ; and it was the clear shining after rain. 
• '' He requested me to walk with him. We 
were silent until we had proceeded some dis- 
tance from college. My own emotions were 
such that I had no disposition to speak. He 
was musing ; and the fire burned. When we 
had come to a retired place, unable longer to 
restrain his feelings, he raised his hands, and 
exclaimed, 'O sweet submission, sweet sub- 
mission ! ' This exclamation he repeated 
many times during our walk. That he was 
in the hands of God was his theme, and the 
rejoicing of his heart. He expressed no 
hope of pardon, and appeared not to think 
of himself. The glorious Being, to whose 
character, law, and government he had felt 
so much opposition, seemed to occupy the 



112 CONVERSION. 



■« 



whole field of vision, and to fill his soul with 
inexpressible delight." 

Here clearly was a case in which the first 
exercises in conversion were those of submis- 
sion to God. '' Very soon he began to speak 
of the plan of salvation through the atoning 
sacrifice of the Son of God. It was unfolded 
to him in its glory, and excited his most 
grateful admiration. He saw how God could 
be just, and justify him that believeth in 
Jesus. Pressed with a sense of obligation 
to redeeming gracQ, his fervent aspiration 
seemed to be ' Lord, what wilt thou have me 
to do?' The love of Christ, shed abroad in 
his heart, immediately manifested itself in 
vigorous, self-denying efforts for the conver- 
sion of his fellow-men." At once, a great 
revival commenced in college, in which Cor- 
nelius was intensely active. 

After he began to preach, we find him 
now a missionary among the South-western 
Indians ; then laboring, with his friend 
Larned, at New- Orleans ; then for several 
years pastor* of the Tabernacle Church in 



CONVERSION. 113 

Salem ; then secretary and agent of the 
American Education Society; and, finally, 
secretary of the American Board of Com- 
missioners for Foreign Missions. Under the 
burthen of these successive and crushing re- 
sponsibilities, his health failed him; and he 
died, universally lamented, at the early age 
of thirty-eight. 

KEV* SYLVESTER LARNED. 

The cases of Dr. Cornelius and Mr. Lamed, 
we place together, because they were very 
like each other in personal appearance and 
natural temperament : they were both awak- 
ened and converted in college ; and the form 
of conversicyi in both cases was the same, — 
submission to a sovereign Grod. And they 
graduated the same year. They were alike 
distinguished for their oratorical powers, and 
in after life were very special friends. 

Mr. Larned was born in Pittsfield, Mass., 
in 1796, and graduated at Middlebury Col- 
lege in 1813. He was awakened, while in 

8 



114 CONVERSION, 

college, by the death of a young friend, who 
was cut off suddenly, without leaving any 
evidence of a preparedness for heaven. Mr. 
Larned was led very solemnly to consider what 
would be his own situation, were he sum- 
moned, in like manner, into the presence of 
his God. Death appeared to him very terri- 
ble. His sins Avere set in order before him. 
The law of God condemned him ; and what 
could he do ? At times he was almost fran- 
tic with despair. His opposition to God was 
so great, that he once said to a rehgious 
friend, " I feel that, if I could with this arm 
reach up, and pluck the Almighty from his 
throne, I should do it." 

'' After passing some hours, one day, in his 
room alone," says a fellow-student, '' he left it, 
and went hastily into the woods. I sat by 
the window, and waited to see him return ; 
and, as he came, I saw that the look of de- 
spair was exchanged for a smile. Coming 
in, he exclaimed, ' O Charles ! I went into the 
woods to kill myself ; for I could not endure 



CONVERSION. 115 

such di^eadful despair. But, when I arrived 
there, I thought I would first make one more 
prayer. I knelt down, though I feared that 
the trees would fall and crush me ; and, be- 
fore I rose, I found such joy and peace as 
cannot be described.' " 

Soon after this, he gave some account 
of his experience in a religious meeting ; 
in which he said, "How easy and delight- 
ful it is to possess religion, when once you 
submit to God! It is as easy as it is to 
breathe. I have no fears now, as to my fu- 
ture state. I do not think I should be afraid 
to die, should I be struck with lightning the 
next moment." 

After closing his professional studies at 
Princeton, he made an arrangement with his 
friend CorneUus to meet him in New Or- 
leans, with a view to a permanent settlement 
in that city, should Providence open the 
way. Accordingly, he arrived there in Jan- 
uary, 1818 ; and here he remained until his 
death. He died suddenly of yellow fever, 



116 CONVERSIOy. 

on Ms birthday, at the age of twenty-four. 
Probably no preacher in the United States 
occupied a more important station, or was 
more admired for a brilliant natural elo- 
quence. 



SECTION XL 

Miscellaneous Instances, illustrating, the Different 
Forms of Conversion. 

THE cases described in this section, al- 
though anonymous, are all of them 
taken from real life. They have been se- 
lected from hundreds of well-attested in- 
stances, which from time to time have been 
published. 

1. W. H., Esq., was among the early set- 
tlers of a town in the western part of Ver- 
mont. He was soon elevated to a post of 
responsibility, in which he gave evidence of 
fearlessness and integrity in the discharge 
of official duties. He was never a scoffer at 
religion, but was far enough from possessing 
the meek, forgiving spirit of Christ. 

In the year 1816, when he was a little 
more than fifty years old, there was a revival 

117 



118 CONVERSION. 

of religion in the town ; and he was among 
the first to come forward and speak of the 
importance of becoming reconciled to God. 
He soon expressed a hope in Christ, but was 
induced, after a time, to relinquish it, under 
the impression that it was superficial, and 
had no good foundation. God now opened 
his eyes to see himself as he had never done 
before. His sins rose up like mountains be- 
fore him, and seemed to cry aloud for ven- 
geance. He came into a conference meeting 
with a countenance betokening the deepest 
anguish, and exclaimed, in tones that pierced 
the heart of every hearer, " I am lost ! You 
can do nothing for me ! But I entreat of 
you to take care of yourselves ! 1 am lost ! " 
He continued in tliis state about three 
weeks ; when, to use his own language, " My 
case was as though the noonday had burst 
upon the gloom of midnight. I was filled 
with light and joy and love to the character, 
law, and salvation of God. Instantly I 
found myself with both hands extended 
towards heaven, exclaiming, ' Glory to God 



CONVERSION. 119 

in tlie highest ! Glory be to God in the 
highest ! ' " 

From this time, Esquire H. was a new 
man. He was for ten years a deacon in the 
church, and was an example to all believers 
'' in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in 
faith, in purity." 

2. Instances of conversion which begin in 
penitence are either not so common as the 
other forms, or (what is more likely) they 
are less frequently recorded. We find them, 
however, occasionally ; and the following in- 
stance may be taken as a specimen : — 

During a season of revival, Mrs. M. was 
resolutely opposed to the work, and treated 
it with levity and contempt. Still, she could 
not utterly shut out the Spirit from her 
house or her heart. She was herself awak- 
ened, and fell under the most pungent con- 
victions of guilt. " I have been," she said, 
'^ the most ignorant and stupid being that 
ever lived. The one thing needful, — the 
care of my soul, — I have altogether neg- 
lected. I have been forgetful of God ; and 



120 CONVERSION. 

the solemn realities of eternity I have ban- 
ished from my mind. Thus have I been liv- 
ing all my days. O my heart ! my hard and 
sinful heart ! It is full of every kind of pol- 
lution. Never was there so great a sinner." 

In this state of mind she continued for a 
considerable time. At length, she became 
more calm and tranquil, but expressed no 
hope that she had passed from death unto 
life. Upon being inquired of as to her views 
and exercises, she said, " I appear to myself 
to be the most vile and loathsome of the hu- 
man race. Nothing in the universe seems to 
me so deformed and odious as my sinful 
heart. I do loathe and ahhor myself for 
sin. But, as much as I see of the vileness of 
my heart, I know that God sees a thousand 
times more than I do. All its lurking wick- 
edness is fully exposed to his view. And 
yet I wouli hide nothing from him. Sin is 
so abominable and loathsome in itself, it is 
reasonable and right that God should hold it 
in the greatest abhorrence. It is right that 
God should hate and abhor my wicked char- 



« 



CONVERSION, 121 

acter and my wicked self, as one of the 
vilest of sinners. * I know that God must op- 
pose me, and set his face against me ; and 
nothing can be more reasonable than this. I 
do not wish it were otherwise. How can I 
desire that the all-holy God should approve 
and love such a miserable, loathsome sinner 
as myself ? God requires me to hate every 
evil and false way ; to love him with all my 
heart and soul : and this requirement I know 
is reasonable. I do not wish it abated or al- 
tered, although I know that I am continually 
exposing myself to everlasting destruction for 
my disobedience. The divine law condemns 
me, and justly condemns me; and, should 
everlasting destruction be my portion, God's 
throne would be guiltless, and my mouth 
would be stopped ! Oh, the dreadful end of 
the ungodly ! And I know not but that end 
will be mine. I am in God's hand ; and he 
will do with me as seemeth him good. His 
counsel shall stand ; and he will do all his 
pleasure. It is my duty to say, amen ; and 
/ think I can my so. The Judge of all the 



122 CONVERSION, 

earth will do right ; therefore, let his will be 
done.^^ 

This woman was now, e\T.dently, a con- 
verted person, though she did not know it. 
She saw the odiousness of sin. She loathed 
and abhorred herself on account of it. She 
had ceased to quarrel with God. She took 
his part against herself. She felt that she 
was in God's hands, and was willing that he 
should do with her as seemed to him good. 
She must have been a child of God, though 
she had no view, as yet, of his pardoning 
love in Christ, and entertained no hope of 
heaven. 

3. In the following case of conversion, the 
first holy affection seems to have been sub- 
mission to Grod. Mr. B. was about thu^ty- 
five years of age, and distinguished for good 
sense and judgment. He at first opposed a 
re^T-val, which was prevailing in his native 
town, and quarrelled with some of the doc- 
trines of the gospel. At a religious meeting 
in his house, he appeared indifferent at first ; 
but, before the meeting closed, he was im- 



CONVERSION. 123 

pressed, and came to the resolution to lead a 
better life. He continued to attend meet- 
ings ; and his convictions increased. At 
length, they became so pungent as to unfit 
him for labor and deprive him of sleep. A 
sense of *the all-seeing and all-powerful God, 
against whom he had sinned, and who, he 
knew, must be angry with him, made him 
tremble. He resorted to meetings, and con- 
versed with his minister, but found no relief. 
His deceitful heart would flee to any thing 
but to God, through Christ, for help. About 
the dawn of day, after a wretched and sleep- 
less night, he had some new views as to the 
propriety of submitting unconditionally to 
God. He saw that it was a thing most suit- 
able and excellent that God should reign 
and do all his pleasure. His obstinacy now 
gave way. He thought that he would acqui- 
esce in the divine sovereignty, and found 
relief; still, he did not think himself con- 
verted, nor did he indulge any hope of 
heaven. 

In the course of the day, his darkness and 



124 CONVERSION, 

distress returned, and were more intolerable 
than ever. " Oh, what a Saviour I have re- 
jected ! Eternal death is now my portion, 
and I cannot open my lips to complain." 
With reflections such as these, he walked 
backwards and forwards, wringing his hands 
in agony, and saying, '' Now is my doom fixed 
and settled for eternity." At this point, a 
voice seemed to come to him, ^' Have I not 
done enough for you ? And have you not 
stood out against me long enough ? " '' Instant- 
ly my spirit answered, ' Yes, Lord, oh, yes, I 
bow to thee ! I resign myself to thy disposal. 
Oh, take me, and make me what thou wilt ! ' '* 

This act of submission was succeeded by a 
peace which he had never felt before, and of 
which he had no conception. He at once set 
up the worship of God in his family, and en- 
tered upon the duties of a Christian life. His 
perseverance proved that his hope was not a 
delusion. 

4. In the conversions which follow, the 
change evidently commenced in faith : — 

There was a young lady in New York, 



CONVERSION. 125 

whose name was Mary . She was awak- 
ened, somewhat convicted, and attended the 
inquiry meeting from week to week. She 
would assent to all that was said to her ; but 
did not seem to feel very deeply, and she 
made no progress. Her pastor frequently 
called upon her, and used all methods to 
bring her to a decision; but m vain. One 
daj^ he told her, at the close of an interview : 
'' Mary, I can do you no good. I have said 
to you every thing that I can think of that is 
appropriate to your case, and nothing seems 
to move you. I can do no more for you." 
The thought that her pastor had pretty much 
despaired of her, and was about to give her 
up, alarmed her. She felt more than ever the 
need of looking to some other source for help. 
She went the same evening to a religious 
meeting, where the service was commenced 
with singing a hymn of Watts, in which is the 
following verse : — 

" A guilty, weak, and helpless worm. 

On thy kind arms I fall : 
Be thou my strength and righteousness, 

My Jesus and my all." 



126 CONVERSION, 

The whole hjinii, and especially these 
words, affected her so deeply, that she thought 
of nothing else. They gave her the first idea 
of faith. She went to her pastor the next 
day, and said, '' When you was reading that 
hj^mn last night, I saw the whole way of sal- 
vation for sinners perfectly plain, and won- 
dered that I had never seen it before. I saw 
that I had nothing to do but to trust in Christ. 
I sat all the evening looking at that hj^mn : I 
did not hear your prayer; I did not hear 
any thing you said ; I thought of nothing but 
the hymn. I have been thinking of it ever 
since. The way of life seems so plain and 
light, that it makes me happy : — 

^ A guilty, weak, and helpless worm, 
On thy kind arms I fall.' " 

5. Mr. W. was exceedingly distressed be- 
cause his wife proposed making a public pro- 
fession of religion. She chose what she 
thought the most favorable moment for dis- 
closing her wishes to him; and asked his 
consent that she might offer herself as a can- 



CONVERSION, 127 

didate for Church privileges. The conflict in 
his breast was such as to forbid any reply. 
He left her in suspense, and went immediate- 
\y out. He afterwards seemed absorbed in 
the deepest contemplation, without communi- 
cating to any one the burden which was upon 
him. At the time appointed, he carried his 
wife to the church-meeting, and returned for 
her at the close. On the following Sabbath, 
she was propounded to the church. Mr. W. 
was exceedingly unhappy. His burthen 
seemed almost insupportable. He found no 
rest, in the house or in the field, by day or by 
night. He felt himseK to be a guilty, wretch- 
ed man, without help or hope, but in the 
sovereign mercy of that Being against whom 
he had offended. On the bright Sabbath 
morning when she was to give herself to the 
Lord and his people in an everlasting cove- 
nant, he arose very early, after a night of 
almost insupportable distress. He retired to 
his barn to pray ; and there Christ was made 
known to him as a suitable, precious, and all- 
sufficient Saviour. He embraced him with 



128 CONVERSION. 

Ms whole heart, and rejoiced to give himself 
up entirely to him. The day to which he had 
looked forward, with such anguish of spirit, 
was turned into one of inexpressible gladness. 
He rejoiced to see his wife make an open pro- 
fession of her faith, and only regretted that 
he could not accompany her in the solemn 
transaction. On the next sacramental occa- 
sion, he was received to communion with her. 
6. Mr. K. had been for many years an infi- 
del. He hated the Bible, abhorred the name 
of Jesus, and sternly rejected the claims of 
the gospel. His fears were aroused by a 
dangerous sickness ; and his feelings were 
somewhat softened by the kind attentions of 
Christian friends. He consented to read 
some of the books which they gave him ; and 
the thought struck him with great force, 
" T^ere must be something in this religion." 
He was a long time fighting his way against 
infidel objections and doubts, but at length 
came to the resolution, that he would do noth- 
ing else until he had satisfied himself of the 
truth of Christianity, and had complied with 



CONVERSION, 129 

its requisitions. This, he supposed, might 
take him about three days ; but, at the end of 
that time, he had learned only his own weak- 
ness and helplessness, and his exposure to the 
wrath of an offended God. He now began, 
for the first time, to pray, and even consented 
to attend a prayer-meeting. " The Christians 
whom I saw there," says he, "I regarded as 
the happiest of human beings, while I was 
myself the most miserable. I saw that I had 
no moral fitness for heaven, and knew not how 
I could be happy if admitted there. I saw 
the justice of God in consigning me to hell, 
and knew not how he could be Just, and save 
me. I regarded myself as irretrievably lost, 
and given over to despair and ruin; but, 
when every other expedient failed, my 
thoughts turned to that Jesus whom I had 
despised and rejected : and the question arose, 
' Will he yet save me if I put my trust in 
him ? He saved the dying thief on the cross : 
will he, can he, save me ? ' I resolved at once 
to venture upon him ; and I carried my reso- 
lution into effect. I came, in faith, to the foot 

9 



130 CONVERSION. 

of the cross, and heartily and forever commit- 
ted myself to his hands. Immediately I felt 
relief; and the peace of God took possession 
of my soul. I was astonished to find how 
sweet the name of Jesus was to me, — that 
name which formerh^ had been my loathing 
and abhorrence. There seemed a perfect 
heaven in the name of Jesus ; and I wanted to 
think of nothing else. I loved to pray to 
God in the name of Christ, and deemed it 
my highest honor and privilege to be called a 
Christian. I soon became satisfied that God 
had brought me out of darkness into his mar- 
vellous light, and made me a subject of re- 
newing grace ; and the experience of twenty 
years has but sers'ed to confirm me in this 
assurance." 

7. In the town of M , in the State of 

New York, lives a Mr. B., who was once a 
boisterous champion for the doctrine of uni- 
versal salvation ; but being seized with a 
violent disease, and brought apparently near 
to the reahties of eternity, he experienced 
some painful misgivings. With regard to his 



CONVERSION. 131 

favorite doctrine, the inquiry forced itself 
upon him, " Will it bear the test ? " It 
seemed to him as though all the interests of 
eternity were concentrated on this inquiry, 
" Will it bear the test? " But the suspense 
involved in this momentous inquiry was short. 
Consciencer awoke, and the awful delusion 
fled. The wailing of the pit seemed too near 
and too well deserved to be scoffed at. A 
conviction of his own vileness and guilt swept 
away the whole array of proofs which he had 
industriously collected in favor of Universal- 
ism. In anguish of spirit, he exclaimed, " I 
am undone ! I am about to die ; and an eter- 
nal hell must be my portion ! " 

His former associates said to him, " Don't 
be frightened : God is merciful, and can't do 
wrong." — "I know it," he replied. ''And 
that is what troubles me. His mercy I have 
abused, and deserve nothing but wrath. No : 
God cannot do wrong. He will not do so 
wrong as to let me escape. I see no way in 
which I can be saved." 

In this state of mind, he remained two 



132 CONVERSION. 

weeks. At length he began to think of the 
atonement^ — an atonement wrought out by 
Christ for the chief of sinners. A gleam of 
hope that possibly God might yet forgive 
him through the atonement entered his mind. 
He fastened upon it with all the energy of 
a sinking soul. He threw himself at once 
at the foot of the cross, resolving, if he per- 
ished, to perish there ; and soon his troubled 
spirit found rest : he rejoiced greatly, be- 
lieving with all his heart. From that time 
he began to recover, and has ever since ex- 
liibited a faith and life in consistency with the 
doctrine of the cross. 



SECTION XII. 

Remarks on the Preceding Narratives. 

THE cases of conyersion above described 
have been selected from different coun- 
tries and periods, and from persons of differ- 
ent ages and denominations, — the learned 
and the unlearned, the aged and the young, 
— with the design to show, not only the fact 
of this great and needed change, but that 
everywhere, and under all circumstances, it 
is substantially the same thing. The necessi- 
ty for it lies in our very nature, — the fallen 
and corrupted nature of man ; and the renew- 
al of that nature — the recovery of the lost 
and ruined soul to purity, peace, and a 
meetness for heaven — must be in all cases es- 
sentially the same.- It is a turning from the 
broad to the narrow way, — a change in our 

133 



134 CONVERSION. 

internal exercises and affections from those 
which are sinful to those which are holy. 
The form of the first holy affection may vary ; 
and it will, according to the object in view 
of which it is put forth. It may be one of 
love or penitence or submission or faith. 
But whatever its form, if it be a holy affec- 
tion, the change which it inaugurates is con- 
version; and the subject of it becomes a new 
creature in Clirist Jesus. 

In all the conversions that have been de- 
scribed, we see that God works by means. It 
is sometimes said that God could, if he pleased, 
convert souls without means. But is this 
statement true ? Does God ever convert sin- 
ners without means ? Is it possible that he 
should ? Can he shed abroad his love in any 
heart, and yet nothing be loved ? Must there 
not be an object of love before the mind, and 
some reason or motive presented why it should 
be loved ? And so of repentance or faith, or 
any other holy affection. Persons cannot re- 
pent or beheve in view of nothing, and 
when no motives are presented, or means 



* 



CONVERSION, 135 

used, to enkindle and draw forth these holy 
affections. To convert a sinner without 
means would be, to oar apprehension, some- 
thing more than a miracle : it would be a 
^ natural impossibihty. 

The means which God employs for the 
awakening and conversion of sinners are, as 
we have seen in the cases abave* cited, various. 
In the case of Paul, a miracle was wrought 
for this purpose. In the case of Luther, a 
storm of thunder was made the means of 
arousing a stupid soul. Sometimes it is a fit 
of sickness, or the death of a friend, or (as in 
the case of Bunyan) the conversation and 
example of Christians. Most commonly, how- 
ever, it is in the written or preached word of 
God, — the great and solemn truths of the 
gospel. Says Paul to the Corinthians, "I 
have begotten you through the gospeV^ The 
gospel, when accompanied by the Spirit's 
power, is as "the fire and the hammer to 
break the rock in pieces." In ten thousand 
instances, it has proved itself to be '' mighty, 
through God, to the pulling down of strong- 
holds." 



136 CONVERSION. 

But, whatever means may be employed in 
bringing sinners to Christ, the grand efficient, 
in every case, is the Spirifs power^ — a pow- 
er exerted through the medium of our facul- 
ties, and in perfect consistency with those 
mental processes and laws which God has 
himself established. Hence, through the en- 
tire change, the, subject of it feels no con- 
straint put upon himself. He thints his own 
thoughts, and exercises all his faculties with 
perfect freedom. It is he that feels and wills 
and acts. It is he that turns from his evil 
ways, and commences walking in those ways 
of wisdom which are pleasantness, and those 
paths which are peace. 

In nearly all the cases which have been 
given, we see a preparatory work of the 
Spirit preceding the great and decisive 
change. Ordinarily, there is first an awaken- 
ing, then conviction, and then conversion ; 
and, in most of the conversions which took 
place in this country years ago, we are struck 
with the thoroughness of the convictions 
which were experienced. The subjects gen- 



CONVERSION. 137 

erally were led to see and to acknowledge 
the entire justice of God in their condemna- 
tion : they saw that they deserved eternal 
pnnishment, and felt, that, if it were inflicted, 
they should have no reason to complain. 
Now, this is the proper measure of conviction. 
When persons are brought to this point, and 
not before, conviction has had its perfect 
work. It deserves consideration, whether 
this measure of conviction has been com- 
monly reached in our own times, and whether 
this may not be the reason that conversions 
of 4ate have not been more thorough and 
satisfactory. 

It may be further remarked, that, in nearly 
all the conversions which have been de- 
scribed, the subjects of them could find no 
rest until they planted their feet on the 
ground of Chrisfs atonement. The first 
effort of the awakened sinner commonly is, 
to reform his life, to make himself better, to 
work out a righteousness in which to trust. 
But, if the work of the Spirit goes on, the 
sinner soon finds that all such efforts are vain : 



138 CONVERSION. 

he is " nothing better, but rather grows 
worse." His conyiction and distress increase 
upon him, until he is ready to despair ; when 
he gets a view of Christ and his atonement, 
and finds peace and pardon there. Bunyan's 
Pilgrim could not be rid of his burden, until 
it rolled off at the foot of the cross. Now, 
this shows us the vital necessity of the atone- 
ment, if we would have joy and peace in- 
beheying ; and this remark is the more 
important at the present time, when great 
efforts are making, not merely by liberals and 
infidels, but by some who claim to be e^an- 
gehcal Christians, to frame a religion without 
an atonement, and thus take away our only 
foundation from us. Such a religion will not 
give the despairing sinner peace. Of such a 
gospel, we may well be afraid. 

A part of the preparatory work of the 
Spirit in conversion may be called a divine 
illumination. Light is poured in upon the 
darkened soul of the sinner, enabling him to 
see the truth respecting God and himself, 
and divine things generally, as he never did 



I 



CONVERSION. 139 

before. The first effect of this illumination 
is in awakening and conviction ; but, in the 
nearest approaches to conversion, it becomes 
clearer and stronger. Thus, in the conver- 
sion of Pres. Edwards, or immediately pre- 
ceding it, he says, '' There came into my 
soul, and was, as it were, diffused through it, 
a sense of the glory of the Divine Being 
quite different from any thing I ever expe- 
rienced before." And so Brainerd says," 
" As I was walking in a dark, thick grove, 
an imspeakable glory seemed to open to the 
view and apprehension of my soul. It was a 
new inward apprehension or view of God 
such as I never had before." The light 
imparted at this stage of the process of 
change, as in the preceding stages, is not, 
however, to be regarded as a new revelation 
of truth: the truth existed before, and had 
been revealed before ; but the soul was not in 
a situation to appreciate it, and to feel its 
power. Eyes it had; but they saw not. 
Faculties it had; but they were engrossed 
with other things. 



140 CONVERSION. 

Perhaps in every case where the first holy 
affection is love to God, it is preceded, as with 
Edwards and Brainerd, by new and glorious 
views of God. These constitute the object 
of the new affection, and the motive by which 
it is awakened and drawn forth. And so 
the other forms of conversion are preceded 
by new and appropriate views. Thus where 
the first holy affection is repentance, there 
will be new views of the baseness and odious- 
ness of sin. Where the first holy exercise is 
submission, there will be new views of the 
excellency of God's government, and of the 
reasonableness and propriety of its claims ; 
and, where the first holy exercise is faith, 
there will be, as in the case of Cowper, new 
views of Christ, and. of the way of salvation. 
Still, there is nothing in conversion, either in 
its preparatory stages or in itself, which can 
be called miraculous. No law of mental 
operation is supervened or interrupted. The 
subject perceives and thinks and feels, and 
turns freely unto the Lord. He makes to 
himself a new heart and a new spirit, and 



CONVERSION. 141 

becomes an obedient subject of the kingdom 
of Christ. 

I have presented, in the foregoing pages, 
many instances of conversion, — the most of 
them pertaining to some of the more eminent 
servants of God, — because I feel sure that 
the reading of them must be interesting and 
improving. We might infer as much as this 
from the fact, that, in the Book of Acts, the 
story of Paul's conversion is recorded no less 
than three times. In the reading of such 
narratives, we learn the true nature of con- 
version in the several forms which it assumes. 
We see the workings of the human mind and 
heart under the strivings of the Holy Spirit. 
We learn the reality and power of the reli- 
gion of Christ. We see all this illustrated in 
actual experiment. The principal danger of 
such reading may be, perhaps, that we make 
the experience of others a standard for our- 
selves, feeling that our exercises must con- 
form in every particular to theirs before we 
are entitled to hope in Christ. The Bible, 
we must remember, is our only rule ; and we 



142 CONVERSION. 

must stand approved or condemned, according 
as we conform to tliat. An apostle has told 
ns of some who, '' measuring themselves by 
themselves, and comparing themselves among 
themselves, are not wise." 



SECTION XIL 

Btoa>ERANCES TO CONVERSION. 

THE hinderances in the way of conversion 
— those which present themselves to 
the awakened sinner to keep him away from 
Christ — are numerous. We shall specify 
but a few. 

1. One of the most prominent of these is 
pride; and this operates in several ways. 
Under the influence of pride, some persons 
cannot consent to the humhling^ abasing con- 
ditions of the gospel. They cannot adopt 
the confession of the prodigal, '' Father, we 
have sinned against Heaven and before thee, 
and are not worthy to be called thy chil- 
dren." They cannot cry with the distressed 
pubhcan, '' God, be merciful to me a sinner I " 
They wish to be saved, but cannot quite con- 

143 



144 CONVERSION, 

sent to receive salvation as the free gift of 
God's grace. It would be more pleasant to 
them to reflect that they had saved them- 
selves, or, at least, that they had done some- 
thing towards it, than to be obliged to ac- 
knowledge that they had deserved nothing 
but destruction, and that -their salvation was 
the mere gift of sovereign mercy. 

Pride prevents others from embracing the 
gospel, on account of the disgrace which they 
suppose attached to it. " What would be 
thought and said of me if I should become a 
Christian? I should be the derision of my 
former associates and friends. They would 
laugh at me, and point at me the finger of 
scorn." Many, who have been the subjects 
of solemn impressions, and were almost per- 
suaded to be Christians, have been stopped 
precisely here. '' ReUgion, if I embrace it, 
will disgrace me ; and therefore I put it from 
me." 

Pride of opinion^ too, is often an effectual 
hinderance in the way of conversion. Per- 
sons have long been known as the advocates 



CONVERSION. 145 

of some heretical opinion, some ism^ which 
is palpably at -variance with the gospel of 
Christ : they have argued for it ; they have 
been identified with it ; they have supported 
it, and suffered for it ; and they feel as though 
they cannot give it up. And yet they are 
not quite satisfied with it. They fear it is a 
sandy foundation, and are half-inchned, at 
times, to abandon it, and plant their feet upon 
the rock of the gospel. '' But this will be to 
renounce all my old opinions, to contradict 
my past professions, to pass a censure upon 
my whole course of life. And how can I do 
this ? No : I am committed for weal or for 
woe ; and, true or false, I must flounder on, as 
I have done, and meet the consequences." 
There can be no doubt that many awakened 
persons have been kept out of the kingdom 
of Christ in the way here pointed out. Pride 
of opinion has shut the door against them, and 
they are excluded. 

2. Inquiring souls very often fail of con- 
version through the strong and multiform 
influence of the world. The love of wealth 

10 



146 COXVEESIOy, 

keeps many back from Clnist. They tliink 
well of religion, and would be glad, on many 
accounts, to possess it : but they have made 
up their minds to be rich, have formed their 
plans accordingly; and they are sure that 
rehgion — strict, personal, heart rehgion — 
would break in uj)on their plans, and might 
defeat them altogether. Here is a man, we 
will suppose, who is pursuing wealth in some 
unlawful calling, as John Xewton was when 
engaged in the slave-trade, or as thousands 
now are in the sale of intoxicating liquors. 
Or here is a man engaged in a lawful busi- 
ness ; but, in order to increase his gains, he 
is pursuing it imlawfully, — he is pursuing 
it, it may be, in the practice of fraud, or 
in violation of the sabbath, or he is pursuing 
it so absorbhigly as to leave him no time or 
heart for the duties of religion. Now, all of 
these different characters know, or may know, 
that their courses of life are wrong. They 
often feel painfully that they are wrong. 
They are not satisfied with them. Their 
own hearts condemn them; and God, they 



CONVERSION, 147 

know, "is greater than their heart, and 
knoweth all things." They are almost per- 
suaded, at times, to forsake their present 
courses, make peace with their consciences, 
and press into the kingdom of Christ ; but 
their worldly interests are all pulling the 
other way. If they become Christians, it 
must be at a great sacrifice ; and they cannot 
make it. They love the treasures of earth, 
and will have them^ even though the riches 
of heaven are forfeited. 

Others are kept back from conversion by 
the claims of worldly ambition. Popularity, 
promotion, to climb the steeps of worldly 
honor and power, this is the ruling passion 
of their souls. They believe religion is a 
reality ; they believe it is important, and im- 
portant for them ; they feel their need of it, 
especially under trials, and are almost per- 
suaded, at times, to embrace it. " But, if I 
renounce the world, the world will renounce 
me. If I become a Christian, my prospects 
of worldly honor and promotion are defeated ; 
and I cannot make the sacrifice. Those who 



148 CONVERSION. 

choose the honor which cometh from God 
may have it : my heart is set upon that honor 
which cometh from man." 

Many persons, when pressed on the subject 
of religion, are kept from it by their love of 
sinful pleasures. This is frequently the case 
with the young. They are attached to the 
pleasures and amusements of the world: 
their hearts are set upon them ; and they can- 
not give them up, as they feel that they 
should be constrained to do, were they to be- 
come Christians. 

Worldly connections and associates often 
have influence with young inquirers, and in- 
crease the difficulty of their conversion. They 
could consent to go to Christ if their com- 
panions would go with them ; but to come 
out, and be separate, and stand up for God 
alone, involves a cross which they have no 
strength to bear. They conclude, therefore, 
in opposition to their better judgment, — in 
opposition to the voice of reason, of con- 
science, and of God, — they conclude to fol- 
low a multitude to do evil, and risk the 



CONVERSION. 149 

consequences. To please their companions 
in sin, they consent to throw away their 
souls. 

3. Conversion is often delayed, if not 
finally prevented, by mistaken views as to the 
nature of it. Persons are looking and wait- 
ing for some kind of change which they have 
no reason to expect, and which, if experienced, 
would do them no good, while they put off 
that vital sioiritual transformation without 
which they cannot enter heaven. I once 
heard two educated men, professional men, 
who were past the middle of life, and had been 
brought up under the gospel, relate their reli- 
gious experience. Both hoped that they had 
been recently converted ; and they gave as a 
reason why they had neglected religion so 
long, that they had entirely misapprehended 
the nature of conversion. One said that he 
had always supposed conversion to be some- 
thing like a shock of electricity, — something 
that would dart through a man like lightning, 
and be as palpable to the sense, and leave no 
uncertainty afterwards whether he was con- 



150 COXTEBSIOy. 

verted or not. The other was less explicit ia 
his statement. At any rate, he had always 
eonsidered conversion as a thing entirely 
beyond his power, and in regard to which he 
had no responsibility. He believed that 
there was such a change, that it was an 
important one ; and he had long been hoping 
that he might, at some time, experience it. 
But it did not come ; and he felt under no 
particular obligation in regard to it. Now, it 
is to be feared that the views here expressed 
are pretty common among the unpenitent. 
And they account for the fact that so many 
of this class are not sooner awakened, — that 
they can hear the gospel from year to year, 
and still remain indifferent and unconverted. 

4. The conversion of awakened, convicted 
sinners is often delayed, if not prevented, by 
the unscriptural advice of religious friends. 
This point may be illustrated by examples. 
An excellent minister, now deceased, de- 
scribes the following case : " A young 
woman of my congregation, of a yielding, 
amiable disposition, became alarmed at her 



CONVERSION, 151 

situation, and set herself to seek the Lord. 
I visited her, and conversed with her repeat- 
edly. Her seriousness became more and 
more deep. I left her one day with a strong 
expectation, that, the next time I should see 
her, she would be at peace with God. The 
next time I saw her, her appearance was 
changed. Her anxieties were evidently 
diminished. She met me with a smile that 
surprised and pained me. I said, ' Have you 
given your heart to Christ, Mary ? ' ' Oh, no ! 
not yet,' she replied ; ' but I do not feel so 
bad as I did.' — ' Why not ? ' said I : ' what 
reason have you to feel any better ? ' — 'I 
don't know as you will think I have any 
reason ; but I hope I shall be a Christian by 
and by. I don't feel in so much haste as I 
did ; and the sinfulness of my heart does not 
trouble me so much.' — ' My dear Mary,' said 
I, with astonishment and pain, ' how is this ? 
I expected different things. Evidently your 
seriousness is diminished. You care less for 
your salvation than you did. What has 
altered your feehngs since I saw you ? ' — 



152 CONVERSION. 

' Why, when you left me the last time, and 
told me to repent that very day, I was 
dreadfully troubled. I felt that my heart 
was opposed to God ; and I was afraid to 
think of living without Christ another hour. 
Tour last words, to-day^ to-day^ kept ringing 
in my ears : I could not get rid of them. 
But, j)rettv soon, Miss S. came in; and I told 
her how I felt. But she told me not to be 
discouraged ; only keep on seeking the Lord. 
She said I was doing weU ; and, if I perse- 
vered, I should soon get religion.' — • And you 
believed her, did you ? ' -^ ' Yes, I believed 
her ; and I have felt better ever since.' — ' Felt 
beuer, Mary ? Why, she told you an un- 
truth ; and you are miserably deceived ! How 
can you feel better, while you are rejecting 
Christ, and exposed every moment to perish 
forever ? ' 

" I did my best to arouse her ; but it was 
all in vain. Her anxieties departed: she 
ceased to pray ; and, in a few days, she was 
as careless and worldly as ever." 

A similar case, though not terminating so 



CONVERSION. 153 

painfully, once fell under my own observa- 
tion. In a revival of religion in the town of 

C , several young ladies of about the 

same age were awakened, and attended the 
inquiry-meeting together. In a short time, 
they were all hopefully converted, save one. 
This one appeared as well as either of them 
at first ; and I confidently expected to find her 
soon rejoicing in hope. But, to my surprise, 
she seemed to make no progress. Her 
anxieties became no greater : her convictions 
no deeper, but rather the reverse. I became 
alarmed for her, and sought a private inter- 
view. I learned that she slept with a pious 
aunt, a member of the church, who used to 
talk with her when in bed. Her aunt told 
her that she must not be so distressed about 
herself ; that she was doing well : the 
spirit was striving with" her, and that she did 
not doubt that she would be soon converted. 
' '^ Now, aunt's conversation," said the 5^oung 
lady, " always comforts me ; but, somehow or 
other, yours distresses me." 

I gave the young lady the best advice I 



154 CONVERSION, 

could, and lost no opportunity of seeing her 
aunt. I told her what her niece had said. 
'•And now,*' said I, ''if you do not wish to 
ruin your niece forever, you must stop talk- 
ing to her after this manner. The Holy 
Spirit is striving with her, to bring her to an 
immediate submission and repentance. The 
Spirit is ringing in her ears, ' Behold, now is 
the accepted time I behold, noic is the day of 
salvation ! ' But you are encouraging her to 
put the matter off. ' Don't be discouraged : 
you will soon feel better. The Sphit is striv- 
ing ; and you must wait God's time.' " 

The course which I took in the case was 
successful. The aunt learned a lesson which 
she had not known before ; and the niece was 
soon rejoicing in a Saviour's love. 

5. Conversions are often hindered by an 
unwillingness on the part of the subject to 
renounce some darhng sin, or to perform some 
acknowledged Christian duty. How often, 
for example, are awakened persons kept out 
of the kingdom of Christ, because they can- 
not consent to pray in their families ; or to go 



CONVERSION. 155 

to a neighbor whom they have injured, and 
ask his forgiveness ; or to attend an inquiry- 
meeting, and let their feelings be known ! 

There is, in the case of almost every per- 
son, a sin which most easily besets him, and 
which will be the most likely to work his ruin. 
It is that to which he is most strongly tempt- 
ed ; that into which he most frequently falls ; 
that which is likely to live longest, and die 
last, in his soul. Many persons, when awak- 
ened and impressed, find this particular sin 
too strong for them. They can give up scores 
of other things ; but the right hand they can- 
not consent to cut off, the right eye they 
cannot pluck out. The chain of the destroy- 
er is so closely fastened upon them, at this 
point, that they cannot break it ; and it drags 
them downward to perdition. 

A young lady of my acquaintance had 
been for some time anxious, but made no 
progress, and seemed likely to relapse into a 
state of indifference. In conversation with 
her one evening, I asked her whether there 
was not some sin which she had not re- 



156 CONVERSION. 

nounced, and was not willing to renounce; 
whether she was really willing to give np all 
for Christ. I nrged her to press this inquiry 
upon her conscience and heart, and learn the 
result. The next morning, she came to me 
with a radiant countenance, and told me that 
the controversy was all over. " I have been 
a great lover," said she, '' as you know, of 
fashionable amusements. I have hoped that 
they might, somehow, be reconciled with a 
life of religion ; at any rate, I was not will- 
ing to give them up. But the controversy is 
over now: the last cord that bound me 
down to sin and the world is severed ; and my 
soul is at liberty^ The snare of the fowler is 
broken; and I am escaped." From that day 
she became a happy Christian, and still lives 
rejoicing in the Lord. 

6. Many persons, when the necessity of 
conversion is urged upon them, are kept back 
by a procrastinating spirit. They cannot 
think of finally rejecting religion, — of put- 
ting it from them, to be thought of no more. 
But they are easily persuaded to delay it for 



CONVERSION, 157 

a season. They see no particular reason for 
haste. They flatter themselves that they 
have a good while to live. God is merciful, 
and will grant them further opportunities. 
Others, they know, have delayed too long ; 
but this, they are resolved, shall not be the 
case with them. Others have broken their 
promises of future amendment ; but they in- 
tend to keep theirs : and so they flatter and 
quiet themselves in sin. They ease, for the 
time, their troubled consciences, and in most 
cases ease them finally and forever. Very 
few who settle down on this -foundation ever 
awake from it . on earth. They continue to 
flatter and promise and delay till the limit of 
mercy is passed, and they are gone forever. 

7. I mention but another hinderance in the 
way of conversion, and this is the indulgence 
of an unfounded hope; and this, it may be 
feared, is no uncommon case. The subject 
of it is deceived respecting himself. He 
thinks himself to be something, when he is 
nothing. He has a name to live when he is 
dead. The grounds of a fallacious hope ai:e 



158 CONVERSION. 

many, — too many to be specified here. Yet 
when a person has settled down upon any one 
of them, and feels secure, he is in a situation 
where the arrows of truth will not be likely 
to affect him, where the sword of the Spirit 
will scarcely come. The delusion, it may be 
feared, will continue until life and hope are 
gone* 



SECTION XIII. 

The Importance of Conversion. 

HAVING explained the nature of con- 
version, and illustrated it by examples 
taken from real life, it remains that we urge 
some considerations, setting forth its high im- 
portance. With God's blessing, we hope to 
induce every impenitent reader to attend to 
the subject without delay. 

1. My first argument for the importance of 
the change in question will be drawn from its 
reasonableness. It is a perfectly reasonable 
change. It is so in all the forms which it 
ever assumes. Conversion sometimes com- 
mences in the love of Crod ; and is not this 
reasonable ? What can be more reasonable 
than to love a Being who is infinitely lovely, 
whose character combines in perfection ev- 

169 



160 CONVERSION, 

ery amiable and attractive quality ? We are 
also to regard God as our greatest, kindest* 
henef actor ; and shall we not love him for 
what he has done for us ? Shall we not re- 
turn to him the grateful aifections of our 
souls ? 

Conversion is often the beginning of repent- 
ance^ — of holy, godly sorrow for sin. And 
what can be more reasonable than sorrow for 
a fault ? The merest child knows, when he 
has done wrong, that he ought to be sorry 
for it. If a neighbor has injuriously treated 
any of us, we think that he ought to be sorry, 
and to make all the reparation in his power ; 
and we think right. Now, every sin is in- 
juriously treating the Supreme Being. It is 
a fault committed directly against God ; and ' 
no words can make it plainer than it is on the 
bare mention of it, that godly sorrow for sin 
— that sorrow which worketh repentance 
unto life — is perfectly reasonable. 

I have said that conversion is often the be- 
ginning of holy submission to Grod. And is 
not this a reasonable duty? God certainly 



CONVERSION. 161 

has a right to rule and reign over us. He 
made us from nothing. He is the Author and 
Bestower of all our blessings. We are abso- 
lutely his ; and he has a right to give us laws, 
and to dispose of us according to his pleasure. 
And for us to refuse submission is to resist, 
at every step, what is reasonable and right. 
We are to reflect, too, that the government 
of God is not only rightful and legitimate, but 
it is infinitely ivise and good. The ends at 
which it aims are the noblest possible ; and 
the means by which it proposes to secure 
these ends are the best that can be conceived. 
It is the height of wickedness, therefore, to 
resist such a government. It is the perfection 
of reason to submit to it, and rejoice in it. 

Conversion, in many cases, is the beginning 
oi faith., — true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ ; 
and, in this view, it is perfectly reasonable. 
What are the facts in the case ? Here is the 
sinner, oppressed with guilt, condemned by 
the law, with no means of help or deliverance 
in his power, and with nothing in prospect 
but " indignation and wrath, tribulation and 
11 



162 CONVERSION. 

anguish," and that forever. And here is the. 
great Saviour, with extended arms, able to 
save him, willing to save him, iaviting hitn to 
come and receive salvation as the gift of his 
love. And now is it not reasonable that the 
sianer should listen and comply? Is it not 
of all things most reasonable that he should 
come to Christ, and embrace him, as the 
wretched Cowper did, and rejoice in the ful- 
ness, of his salvation ? 

In every view that can be taken of the sub- 
ject, we see that the conversion of the heart 
from sin and Satan unto God is a most 
reasonable service. I urge it, because it is a 
reasonable service. It is one, I know, which 
reason and conscience, not less than the Word 
of God, demand. 

2. I urge, secondly, in favor of conversion, 
that it is followed by the best present results. 
It saves from much misery, and confers much 
happiness, in the present life. Let us consid- 
er, briefly, some of those prolific sources of 
unhappiness which are wide open to us whUe 
living in sin, and from which nothing but 
conversion can deliver us. 



CONVERSION, 163 

One of these is the stings and reproaches 
of conscience. Every sinner has a conscience, 
which, however seared and stifled, will, at 
times, reproach and distress him. It will 
tell him of neglected duties and violated obli- 
gations, of mercies abused and guilt incurred. 
It will summon him, at times, to a solemn 
reckoning, and warn him of the awful retri- 
bution that awaits him. The mental agonies 
which are endured from the stings and re- 
proaches of conscience are often very great : 
they are enough to imbitter the whole cup 
of life. And there is no way in which these 
miseries can be assuaged but by conversion. 
Let the sinner turn from his evil ways, and 
enter on the possession and practice of holi- 
ness, and that same conscience which before 
was a terror and a trouble to him will be 
henceforth his most complacent associate : 
it will whisper peace to his pained heart, and 
bless him with its approving smiles. 

Another source of unhappiness to the 
sinner, while living in indulged sin, grows 
out of that war with himself^ that inward 



164 CONVERSION, 

struggle and conflict^ to which he is perpetu- 
ally subject. This is a conflict between the 
different parts of bis own moral nature, 
which the practice of sin has set at variance, 
and which nothing but conversion can ever 
harmonize. In his present state, reason 
dictates one thing to the sinner, and he pur- 
sues another. Conscience points him in one 
direction, and he follows another. His 
better judgment whispers, " This is the way: 
walk ye in it ; " but his rebellious heart 
refuses to obey. And in this interminable 
conflict between reason and inclination, con- 
science and will, the better judgment and an 
unyielding heart, his soul is continually dis- 
turbed and agitated: it is rendered "like 
the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose 
waters cast up mire and dirt." When the' 
sinner turns from liis evil ways, and never 
before, this war in the bosom ceases. In the 
moment of conversion, the heart yields, the 
will bows, and the nobler principles of the 
soul become predominant. Thenceforward, 
and never before, are they listened to and 
obeyed. 



CONVERSION. 165 

Still another source of unhappiness to the 
sinner consists in a continual and painful 
sense of unpreparedmss to meet God in his 
providential dispensations. Much as the sinner 
is unreconciled to God, he knows that he is 
in his sovereign hands, to do with him as he 
pleases. He can kill him, or spare him alive, 
prosper or afflict him, as seemeth good in his 
sight. He knows, too, that the providences 
of God are inscrutable. Between himself and 
the entire future, there hangs up a dark and 
impenetrable curtain, so that he cannot tell 
what a day or an hour may bring forth. He 
is in health to-day ; but he may be sick to- 
morrow. He is in prosperity to-day ; but he 
may be in deep affliction to-morrow. He is 
aUve on the earth to-day ; but to-morrow he 
may be dead, and in the world of despair. 
He is completely in the hands of God ; and, in 
what manner God is intending to dispose of 
him, he cannot tell : and when he thinks of 
this subject, as think he must at times, he is 
disquieted. He feels alarmed : he knows he 
is not ready to meet God in his providences, 



166 CONVERSION. 

— especially those distressing, crushing prov- 
idences, which may be very near to over- 
whelm him. Now, there is no way in which 
this source of unhappiness can ever be dried 
up but by conversion. When the sinner 
turns from his sins, and enters into the service 
of Christ, he is prepared for any thing. 
Nothing can now injure him. Come prosper- 
ity or adversity, sickness or health, life or 
death, he is prepared to meet it. He is in 
the number of those now to whom all things 
work together for good. 

I shall mention but another source of 
unhappiness to the sinner, while living in a 
course of sin ; and this is a constant feeling 
of exposure to the merited wrath and indig- 
nation of Heaven. He knows that that God 
at whose mercy he lies, and on whose bounty 
he lives, is angry with him. He knows that 
he must be angry with him. He sees the rod 
of his anger extended over him, ready to 
inflict the merited vengeance ; and he trem- 
bles at his dread exposure. He feels as an 
aged sinner once told me that he had felt 



CONVERSION. 167 

habitually, for forty years, — as though a 
drawn dagger was all the while pointed at his 
heart. Now, with such a feeling, it matters 
little what our worldly circumstances may be. 
We may be as rich as Croesus, and may have 
ever so much of the honors and pleasures of 
the world, this feeling of exposure to the 
merited wrath of God is alone sufficient to 
spoil it all. 

Some of my readers will recollect a story, 
which was in our school-books when we were 
children, of the tyrant of Sicily and his flat- 
terer. The flatterer undertook to persuade 
Dionysius that he was the happiest man in 
the world. ''You have riches, honors, and 
pleasures in abundance, every thing i/hat your 
heart can desire ; and you are the happiest 
man in the world." — " Well, flatterer," said 
Dionysius, " have you a mind to try it ? " — 
" Why, yes ! I should like to try it very 
much." So the king ordered a splendid 
banquet to be prepared for him. The tables 
were loaded with all the dainties of the East ; 
the flatterer was seated down to them in 



168 CONVERSION, 

great state ; and, for a moment, he thought 
himself happy. But, just as he was beginning 
to taste of the feast, he chanced to cast his 
eye upward, when he saw a glittering sword, 
suspended by a single hair, hanging directly 
over his head. Immediately the cup of pleas- 
ure was dashed from his lips ; his fancied 
enjoyments were all spoiled. He begged the 
king. to remove him in a moment from a 
situation so appalling and so dreadful. Now, 
this fitly illustrates the case of the sinner, 
under the government of God. Whatever 
his worldy circumstances may be, there hangs 
suspended over him, by a single hair, the 
glittering sword of divine wrath. It may 
fall at any time. It must fall in a very little 
time, and pierce him to the soul. So far as 
his eyes are open to see any thing of a spirit- 
ual nature, he must see his awful danger: 
he must fear and tremble in view of it ; and 
there is no way in which he can quiet his 
fears, and escape from this state of awful ex- 
posure, but by conversion. Let him turn 
from his sins, and submit to God ; and the 



CONVERSION. 169 

flaming sword is at once sheathed : it is 
taken out of the way. And, so far from 
trembling in prospect of the coming wrath, 
he rejoices in the Saviour's love. 

I know that the present life is short, and 
that the concerns of it are all trifles com- 
pared with the weightier concerns of eternity ; 
and yet it is of some importance for us to be 
happy here, - — to be happy, not in the feverish 
pleasures of sin, but on solid^ enduring prin- 
ciples. And sure I am, that there is no such 
happiness for any creature in the. practice of 
wickedness. It is only by turning from sin, 
or by conversion^ that we have it in our power 
to secure substantial enjoyments in the pres- 
ent world. 

3. Conversion is important, thirdly, as it is 
the only way in which to secure the approba- 
tion and favor of the Supreme Being ; and 
this is a consideration, however trifling it 
may appear to some, of very great moment. 
Suppose that, by some act of ours, we could 
secure the approbation of all the inhabitants 
of this great nation^ or even of the world. 



170 CONVERSION. 

By a single act, we could draw to ourselves 
the eyes of the whole world, and could se- 
cure the favor of all its inhabitants, so that 
our names should dwell on every heart, and 
our praises be sounded by every tongue. Or, 
to extend our views still further, suppose 
that, by this one act, we could make ourselves 
known, and most favorably known, to the 
entire universe of created beings, — we could 
attract the notice of angels, as well as of 
men, and cause all creatures to cast upon us 
a look of favor and a smile of love, — should 
we not think such an act worth performing ? 
Would not the motives^ the inducements^ to it 
be exceedingly powerful ? 

But what, I ask, is the favor of the united 
world, or of the created universe, compared 
with the favor and the approbation of God ? 
We see, at once, that it would be as nothing. 
The favor of the world would be, at best, but 
mere breath, — changing, fluctuating, as the 
wind that blows ; but the favor of God is as 
unchanging as his throne. The favor of the 
world must soon pass away, and be forgotten ; 



CONVERSIOJSi. 171 

but the favor of God will endure forever. 
The immutable, everlasting favor of God, 
which is represented in the Scriptures as life, 
and as even better than life, can be secured 
by conversion^ and in no other way. While 
we persist in our sins, we cannot enjoy it ; 
but, when we penitently turn from them, it is 
freely, gratuitously bestowed. 

4. I urge, fourthly, the importance of con- 
version, from the consideration that it saves 
from eternal death. So it is represented in 
the Scriptures, " Turn ye ! turn ye from your 
evil ways ! for why will ye die ? " The 
death here spoken of cannot be temporal 
dissolution^ because conversion does not save 
from that : converted persons die temporally^ 
as well as others. The death intended is 
doubtless eternal death, — that death which 
is set forth in other Scriptures as the proper 
wages and desert of sin. The future punish- 
ment of the wicked is set before us in the 
Bible by a variety of terrific and awful 
figures ; but I know of no figurative- repre- 
sentation of it more appalling than that of 



172 CONVERSION, 

eternal death. Did you ever, dear reader, 
stand by the bedside of a dying fellow- 
creature ? Did you witness, hour after hour, 
his dissolving agonies? Did you see his 
glazed ej^e, and the cold sweat upon his face ; 
his anguished struggles, and convulsive 
throes? Did you hear him groan, and see 
him die ? Now, this is literal, temporal 
death ; and these mortal agonies the inspired 
writers have laid hold of, that, under the 
image of them, as enduring ' forever, they 
might adequately set forth the future punish- 
ment of the lost. This future punishment is 
eternal death. It is to be eternally dying, and 
never to die ! It is to writhe and toss and 
groan and agonize forever in the struggle 
with death, and yet death never come to the 
rescue, never come to end the conflict! 
This, I repeat, is eternal death ; from which 
conversion will save the sinner, and from 
which nothing else can. If he will turn from 
his evil ways, he need not, shall not., die : 
but, persisting in them, there is no help for 
him ; there is, in this case, no dehverance 



CONVERSION. 173 

from that dreadful destruction which has 
been described. 

5. But conversion does more than to save 
from death. I urge, fifthly, that it secures 
life^ — immortal life and bliss to the soul. It 
introduces those who experience it into the 
family of God. It makes them heirs of all 
the promises, — '' heirs of God, and joint- 
heirs with Christ, to an inheritance incorrupt- 
ible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away." 
They are to bie kept, while here on earth, by 
the power of God, through faith, unto salva- 
tion. Their path is to be that of the just, 
which shines brighter and brighter unto the 
perfect day. When they go down into the 
dark valley, they shall not be deserted : they 
shall be sustained, supported, and carried 
triumphantly through ; and, when they ap- 
pear in other worlds, they shall go to dwell 
with Christ, with holy angels, and with all 
the redeemed, in the paradise of God above. 
In the morning of the resurrection, their 
bodies shall be raised glorious bodies, and 
be re-united to their happy, triumphing souls. 



174 CONVERSION. 

Amid all the terrors of the judgment, they 
shall stand undismayed. In the issues of it, 
they shall be acquitted and blessed, and be 
caught away from the judgment-bar to meet 
their Lord in the air, and so shall be ever 
with the Lord. They are to have their 
eternal dwelling amid the glories of the 
heavenly state. They are to advance in 
knowledge, holiness, and bliss ; their pow- 
ers ever expanding, and ever delightfully 
occupied ; their measure ever enlarging and 
ever full, for ever and ever. 

Such, in its consequences — its happy, 
glorious, interminable consequences — is con- 
version. And who will say, that, considered 
as an events it is not one of the greatest mag- 
nitude, and of amazing interest. Xo wonder 
there is joy in heaven over one sinner that 
repenteth : the event is enough to fill all 
heaven with joy. And who will say, that, 
considered as a duty^ conversion is not one of 
the most urgent character, and of the great- 
est possible importance ? Other duties may 
be neglected, and our highest interests may 



CONVERSION. 175 

not be put at hazard; but no person can 
neglect or delay his conversion without put- 
ting at hazard every thing which ought to 
be dear to him, — his present peace, and his 
future joys ; his comforts in this life, and his 
everlasting consolations beyond the grave. 



CONCLUSION. 

IN view of the statements which have been 
made, and the cases described, I would 
invite every reader to unite with me in the 
inquiry : Are we converted persons ? We 
may have had distressing convictions of sin, 
and not be converted. We may have had 
dreams and visions and impulses and ecsta- 
sies, and not be converted. We may have 
made professions, and indulged hopes, and 
come often to the Lord's table, and not be 
converted. But do we love and delight in 
the holy character of God ? Do we love to 
think of God, to pray to God, to serve and 
please God ? Does it heartily grieve us that 
we have ever displeased him ; and is it our 
desire and endeavor that we do so no more ? 
Do we submit to the holy government of 
God, and rejoice in it, deeming it a great 

176 



CONVEBSION. 177 

privilege to live under his government, and 
to be in his hands ? Have we seen ourselves 
to be not only guilty, but undone ; and, under 
this impression, have we come to Christ, and 
embraced him as our portion and Saviour? 
And, having embraced him, do we desire to be 
hke him, and to follow him ? Do we desire to 
live no longer unto ourselves, but to him who 
died for us, and rose again ? 

Now, these are decisive questions. If we 
can answer them to our consciences in 
the affirmative, we need not doubt : we 
should not doubt. We are unquestionably 
converted persons; and we have only to 
press forward in the happy path on which we 
have entered, in order to come to the heaven- 
ly mansions. 

But if we cannot answer the above ques-' 
tions in the affirmative, and have no such 
feelings as are indicated by them, then, what- 
ever else we may have, we are not converted 
persons. We have no religion. We need 
not hope. 

And to all my readers, whether young or 

12 



178 CONVERSION. 

old, who find themselves in this miserable 
condition, I must ask, in conclusion, Will you 
not now listen to the pleading voice of your 
heavenly Father, and turn from your evil 
ways ? You have heard what that conversion 
is which we urge upon j^ou. You have heard 
of the reasonableness, the propriety of it, in 
every form which it assumes, in every view : 
which can be taken of the subject. You 
have heard of the miseries which it allevi- 
ates, the sources of unhappiness which it 
dries up, the divine favor which it secures, 
and the joys and privileges which it confers, in 
the present world. You have heard of that 
dreadful death from which conversion, and 
this alone, can save you ; and of that immor- 
tal, enduring,, and most glorious life to which 
it conducts you. And now the question is 
pressed home upon you, in all its force. What 
will you do ? Will you listen ? Will you 
obey ? Will you repent, and be converted ? 
You may, if you will. You 7nust^ if you will. 
And, if you will not, then you cannot. What 
I mean to say is, this change can never be 



CONVERSION. 179 

accoiiiplislied in you but with the hearty 
concurrence and co-operation of your own 
wills. 

Nor is this a subject on which you can long 
balance yourselves, so as not to decide it 
either way. The fact is, you must decide it 
one way or the other, and you will. If you 
do not repent of your sins, you will persist 
in them. If you do not come to Christ, you 
will reject him. If you do not turn, you will 
continue as you are. 

Again, then, I would press the inquiry, 
with all the tenderness and 'earnestness of 
which I am capable, What will you do ? Will 
you yield to the suggestions of Satan and of 
your own evil hearts, and venture on in sin, 
and risk the consequences ? Or will you not 
rather listen to the monitions of conscience, 
the impulses of the Spirit, and the voice of 
God crying to you in his word, "As I live, 
saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the 
death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn 
from his way, and live. Turn ye ! turn ye 
from your evil ways ! for why will ye die ? " 



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